No Butts About It

When we hear "butt litter," cigarette butts aren't the first things that come to mind. Is that just us? Butt litter? Anyone? It's not that cigarette butt litter isn't gross and irresponsible, but it'd be a little easier to talk about if we all called it "cigarette butt litter." That way, it's not coming out of someone's ass.

We were intrigued by the idea of a job combating this plague of butt litter, so we investigated, and we need to know: what the hell is going on here? Operation-T is apparently committed to educating Chicagoans about the danger and filth of cigarette butt litter—an admirable cause—but their major undertaking seems to be the "butt buddie [sic] ashtray," a portable PVC/EVA envelope to carry cigarette butts in. Yum. Their mission statement doesn't say anything about the free butt buddies that the website otherwise promotes, although the cigarette litter statistics are extremely narst. The only pictures we can find of the butt buddies are still kind of weird. And while we would like to help askTiana.com's own Tiana "and her crew in fighting ugly butt pollution in the United States," we're still not down with all the butt language. Anyway, if we take nothing else from the experience of being severely disappointed by the lack of actual butts on this website, at least we're all a little more aware about the dangers of cigarette litter.

So if you want to be a butt board butt member, apply your butt by Friday. We don't quite understand why the internship listing mentions that most of the people currently with Operation-T are single, but uh, here's your chance to meet a lady friend. But please: that cigarette you smoke afterwards must be disposed of appropriately.