Quit Stealing Rare Stuff

Extreme attack of the heebie jeebies in three…two…one…two-headed albino rat snake. Ayee! You thought the big theft story of the week was a painting? Look a little closer to home, yo. Yesterday morning, officials at the City Museum of St. Louis noticed that their beloved—say it with me, now—two-headed albino rat snake “We” was missing from its aquarium. Sweet lord. The museum folks called the police, the police made an Ace Venture joke, and before they could even start investigating, an anonymous woman called in a tip to the Belleville, Illinois PD. Ahem, ex-girlfriend.

Police arrested two teenagers who had recently been fired from City Museum. The snake, unharmed, was found in a garage, in a glass box with a piece of wood and a VCR covering the top, in case he wanted to watch some videos. So are we going to call these teens the Retards of Belleville? Or are we calling the whole operation the Quadruplets of Belleville, counting all four heads? Or what? Someone? Belleville joke?