Vote For Keyes, Vote For Machine Guns

When Chicagoist started reading this article in the Sun Times on Alan Keyes thoughts on guns we couldn't even believe it was a real news story. Surely someone must have hacked the site and put this made up story there, right? It's so redic. Basically, Keyes said he thinks the constitution grants properly trained private individuals the right to own and carry machine guns.

He says that our country's founding fathers intended the Second Amendment to allow people to carry the types of weapons "customarily carried in those days by ordinary infantry soldiers." So, these days that would equate to machine guns. In his defense Keyes says "You're not talking about giving citizens access to atom bombs and other things. That's ridiculous." Um... so not atom bombs.. just machine guns! Can you believe this guy once ran for president?

A reporter asked Keyes whether he would "be comfortable if the entire society was walking around with Uzis, as long as they were properly trained." Keyes indirectly answered by asking the reporter if he'd ever been to Israel and said, "if you've ever been to Israel, you wouldn't ask that question. And in the midst of terrifying dangers, you walk around the streets of Israel and you see every other person carrying arms and Uzis and so forth and so on, and believe me, you do not feel less safe on that account."

We know a lot of people who said they were going to move to Canada when Bush took office, but Chicagoist is serious when we say "We're moving to Wisconsin if Keyes is voted our Senator." Wisconsinist, here we come.