Dave Matthews Band Keeps Getting Shittier
By Margaret Lyons in News on Aug 30, 2004 2:54PM
Can we please oh please stop using the word dumping in the coverage of this Dave Matthews Band poop-shedding thing? Matthews band tackles bus-dumping issue on Web site," "Band to give DNA in bus dump case, Dave Matthews Band issues statement about waste dumpthese are just a few of the choice headlines about the incident. Are we the only ones who find this fucking hilarious? Maybe its because were the dorkfaces who still laugh when we see road signs that say No Dumping, but this is getting out of hand. Lets scour our thesauruses for a better word.
Beyond the awkward headlines, though, we discover that Dave Matthews and his pals have offered DNA samples in an attempt to clear up the case. So in case you saved some of the feces that splashed on you, bring it on by the police station for analysis. Hot damn, who doesnt love fecal matter stories on a Monday morning? We certainly do. Kudos to DMB for their commitment to the environment, to each other, and to their staff; less kudos for unleashing 800 pounds of bus-heated crap on unsuspecting tourists.
What happened that Sunday is extremely important to us. It touches on many of the core principles we have supported and tried to live up to, not simply environmental principles and principles of accountability, but more importantly simple principles of humanity. What happened to the people on the boat is awful and our hearts go out to them.
Yes, were all pretty committed to avoiding being drenched human waste, or really any waste for that matter, so way to distinguish yourselves.