Tractor Pull and Chase

We're not huge fans of the "look and laugh at this dip-shit criminal" news stories. They're too easy or something. But we need to post quick before we start pre-partying for tonight's Chicagoist party and just couldn't pass this one up.

So...last Wednesday St. Clair County Deputy Scott Toth was investigating a damaged car, abandoned by its driver, in a ditch in Marissa, Illinois. The deputy left for a bit to try and find the car's driver, then returned to the scene. There he saw Randall C. Jenkins sitting on a tractor trying to pull the car out of the ditch. Jenkins denied driving the car and while Toth entered Jenkins' driver's license information into a computer, Jenkins took off on the tractor. Jenkins' license had been revoked for driving on a suspended license and four DUIs.

Unfortunately we don't know much about tractors, but they're kind of slow right? What a chase it must have been! We imagine Toth briskly walking next to the tractor and saying (we hear it in a backwood-sy accent), "Stop the tractor and git down here now Randy!" And Jenkins replying, a la David Cross in "Run Ronnie Run!", "No! YOU git down here!"

Jenkins did eventually stop the tractor at a neighbor's home then tried to hide behind a grain bin. Toth eventually captured him and after a search found an injured kitten in Jenkins' shirt pocket. Jenkins said the kitten was in the car and was injured when the car hit a power-line pole and he was keeping it warm in his pocket.