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Dear Chicagoist,
Our co-worker has been eating sardines and oysters on salad as part of some low-carb diet and now there's this rotten fish stench that extends far beyond her corner. We think we've identified her padded lunch carry-all thing as the source of the ongoing problem (while she was outside on a break). What do we do when she's so used to it that she responds indignantly to any mention of an odor: "I took a shower!" Please, you've got to help us!
Sincerely, Febreeze Ain't Workin'
Dear Readers,
Did you know that 3 ounces of oyster-ness have 57% of one’s daily recommended intake of iron? And a whoppin’ 12 grams of protein?? Neither did we. Good gracious, maybe we should learn to like that slimy goo. We did guess, however, that high cholesterol might be an issue, and by-gum, we were right! Phew. This colleague of yours is clearly receiving dubious dieting advice. (Not that dieting is our arena; we are currently snacking on Raisinets, for pete’s sake!)
Fish Lady must be handled with Extreme and Absolute Sensitivity. Here is a person who is already defensive (“I took a shower!”) and the only thing worse than knowing that all of one’s co-workers are talking about you --- is knowing that you are the source of a funny smell. Here’s our recommendation. Who has the best rapport with Fish Lady? That person, and ONLY that person, should 1) take Fish Lady aside (preferably out of the building, but at least out of spying range of The Rest Of The Office); 2) be very supportive of the diet; and 3) tell her that she looks FANTASTIC. Then:
"You know, something strange happened the other day. I was walking past your cube and I smelled your oyster salad, and I was coming over to say hi to you, but you weren’t there. It was so weird I could smell your salad without you. So, I know its nosy, but I sniffed around, and voila! It turned out that the smell was coming from your lunch bag. Maybe something dripped in there; it totally happens with my urine therapy sometimes. Anyway, I was at Walgreen’s last night and those lunch-bag things were on sale, so I picked one up for you…I hope you like red.”
This will ONLYwork if one of you is quite friendly with Fish Lady. If she is an Office Outsider then the best approach is to get back to work (breathing through your mouths, of course!) until the fad makes its way to Diet Heaven. It is a terrible thing to humiliate someone who is trying to feel better about herself.
In a pickle? Need some advice? Email Ask(at)Chicagoist(dot)com!
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I love fruit and bananas
Maybe it's just her farts.
/Sardine and oyster farts HAVE to be bad.
3 ounces of oyster-ness have a whoppin’ 12 ounces of protein ??
The laws of physics do not apply to oyster-ness!!??
dearest dazed/amazed,
thanks for the correction--we meant to write grams, not ounces! duh, and yikes!! we'll fix it, pronto.
A.C.
Sorry, a lady who is stinking up the office with her lunch choice does not need to be tip-toed around.
A simple "look, I'm glad about your new diet, but the smell of the seafood is kind of overpowering the office here. If you wouldn't mind, could you start bringing it in a sealed container and dispose of any waste from it in the kitchen/break room/restroom to keep the, uh, aroma, to a minimum? Those containers are pretty gamey after sitting open on your desk for a few hours, you know..."
Don't be rude about it, but be honest. If that fails, have the boss request everyone not eat at their desks (my co-workers and I used this tactic to correct a similar issue at a previous office). Chances are he doesn't want to risk having to bring a client through a fish-stanky office, either.
This is why every office needs someone like me around. To wit: "What IS that STINK?? Is that YOU? Clean it up, honey, nobody should smell like that!"
/It's like "The Office" everywhere I work.
:D
My boss, the wackiest dieter I've ever come across, is constantly eating sardines out of the can. As in, walking around and eating sardines in meetings, in people's office doorways -- he even once left an empty can of them on my desk.
Let's just say that having that particular smell lingering in the office of a woman is not the best scenario, and I couldn't admonish him b/c he's my boss!
A classic no-win/big-stink situation.
Where are we? Frickin' NORWAY???
Close the door! It's Norway in here!
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You can't be 70727 serious?!?