Weekend Diversion: Night Of The Ponies
Pedway, First Store Open At Block 37
Around Town
Around Town
Red-Light Cameras Not So Special?
Chicagoist has always said we should be on the payroll at City Hall to do PR for this fine city. We can go on and on about what a fine city this is, and will often do so with passion. World Championship sports teams, an incredible lakefront, a world-class skyline, and a public transportation system that has its faults, but really gets us where we need to go. We have a plethora of drooltastic restaurants, a wealth of art and culture, tons of live music, and the majesty that is the grid. We have a Midwestern friendliness and a down-to-earth way about us you won’t find in New York or Paris.
But there’s two things we’ve never been able to get on board with: the incessant honking that passes for vehicular conversation on the streets of Chicago, and the streetwise concept of “dibs.” This is the winterly practice whereby a resident on a side street will dig out one's car to go somewhere after a large snowstorm/blizzard. After the feats of strength, they will note that the work involved shall not go to waste by having some Johnny-come-lately just happen by after their trip to the Jewels. The resident will call “dibs” by putting any and all manner of items in recently cleaned spot to save it.
Items Chicagoist has seen in the 8 years we have lived here? Most prevalent: lawn chairs, brooms, saw horses, milk crates, garbage cans. We’ve also seen: orange cones, playpens, ladders, old tables, and other various and sundry items from the garage (you name it, we’ve seen it). The gist seems to be something shitty enough that people don’t want to steal, big enough so you can’t park on it, and also large enough to be seen. Oh, and for those of you not at all familiar with this practice and are thinking, “What’s the big deal, just throw the crap to the curb and park there!?” We’d like to suggest otherwise. We’ve heard horror stories about people who have gotten their whole cars iced, their tires slashed, or their mirrors broken in acts of retaliation for going against the code of “dibs.”
We get it. It takes a lot of work to get out of the spot and it sucks to have done it only to have some jackass take your spot and all the credit a mere five minutes later. But it makes everything look trashy and gross, and at some point it seems like you just have to roll the dice and go with the luck of the draw. Chicagoist has driven around for a good twenty minutes at 2 am in the middle of summer looking for a spot sometimes, and it’s not like we get to mark our kickass spot in front of our house with a nasty piece of furniture when we leave at 9 pm. That’s the way the cookie crumbles in the city. If you don’t like it, buy a parking spot, no?
However, the last time we heard, the city doesn't care what we think -- even the mayor backed the practice up. So, in the spirit of public service, we want to let you know that the city has finally said for this time out, enough is enough. The snow’s been gone long enough, and if you don’t take your stuff off the street, they’re throwing it out starting tomorrow.
Images via flickr -- pantagrapher; wselman
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On two ocassions some asshole (not our beloved "some asshole"...I think) dibs-ed a spot for himself that I had shoveled out! Yeah, dibsing sucks and I wish the city would enforce against it, but it never really bothered me up until then.
"The Jewels"
Ha, love that you spelled it that way!
Except drop the "The".
"Fuck Jewels, I be goin' to Aldis to spend this 10 dollar and fifty two cent!"
What always gets my goat is when I spend a great deal of time and energy clearing out a spot and I don't mark it (I don't care for the practice) just to come home and find some other ya-hoo has "claimed" the spot that I cleared out. This has happend several times and those chairs ended up in a really nice warm dumpster. In my opinion, no grace period, dump the junk early and dump the junk often.
Yes! Thank goodness this practice is over! It's ridiculous, ugly and annoying.
I've heard of people getting chairs through their windsheilds because people think they've stolen "their" spot. It's a public street - there is NO "their." Get over it, people.
Welcome to Chicago. Are you new here?Come on. This is one of those funny things that I miss most about my hometown now that I'm in New York. Getting all worked up over it is like whining about how a hotdog with everything doesn't come with ketchup. Dibs on parking spots is as much a part of Chicago winter as snow. Embrace it!
It isn't just winter. In Wrigleyville, they do this during the Cubs season, as well.
Clearly, the answer is to develop some offical "dibs" marker and get City Hall sign-off as the only recognized way of marking dibs, thereby insuring massive wealth...
The smell of chocolate from Blommers, smoking in the bars and street musicians have always been a part of Chicago too...they managed to do away (or are trying to) with those, so why not this ridiculous practice of utter entitlement?
Don't forget Field's... We should be lamenting these changes that are contributing to the manhattanization of chicago. It's all pretty sad. But, the official city of chicago dibs marker idea -- now that's authentic Chicago. You should give the idea to your alderman!
I think the city is just saying this round of dibs is done. If it snows again, dibs will kick in again.
As it should be. But there does need to be a limit. Three days? The first day it breaks 30 after it snows?
Also, it's totally "the Jewel." If you say it isn't, my Polish grandmother will whup you.
There is an easy way to foil the practice of dibs in your neighborhood: dibsarchy! Fight the Man one discarded lawnchair at a time.
Take a jog down your street and toss all the trash onto the curb. Or- pile it all in ONE parking space. Pretty soon nobody knows who dibsed what, all parking spots are empty and every body is parking everywhere! Chaos reigns!
Just watch out for da dibs fanatic sitting in his window with a deer rifle watching for them dam kids moving his chairs.
World's stupidest tradition
"Dibsarchy" works. A friend of mine in Rogers Park has used it on his block to great effect. Only a couple people on his block even bother with dibs anymore, because the rest know their junk will be piled on the sidewalk or in the dumpster with everyone else's.
Let's try two things:
1. Massive dibsarchy; and
2. Watching for the people who do this. When they return to their dibsed spot, slash *their* tires. If this happened for a single season, the practice would stop forever.
re: Gramma,
She's gonna be busy because all over my hood it's simply "Jewels"
As for dibs I've given up worrying about it. Unfortunately people can't make a little effort to do their civic duty. Imagine a Chicago where everyone shovels their space and the sidewalk in front of their homes, the streets and sidewalks would always be clear..................Imagine aaalll the peeeooople shoveling in chicago todaaayy.....Yup it'll never happen.
I'm all for people tossing folk's space marking junk if you can get away with it without their neighbor trying to stab them or something.
what neighborhoods even practice this? i've never seen it in uptown
I grew up calling it "the Jewel." "Jewels" (with no "the") is an acceptable variant. But they're not interchangeable.
I think dibs is a little stupid when people stake out the clear spot that is left when the car simply pulls out. Displacing the snow with your car is NOT the same as digging out a parking space.
How do you really feel about dibs? Make sure you vote on the poll at The Daley Show.
I don't even understand why people even bother... just ram your car through the piled up snow until it comes to a stop fairly close to the curb. When it is time to leave rev your car in reverse until you get out. Why futz with all these chairs and whatnot?! just settle for a mediocre parking space and let technology do all the hard work. these chair people need to get over themselves.
Yeah, I kind of give the dibs thing to people who've actually done the work and dug out the space. But the losers who just SPOT the dug-out space and think they can throw their crap there to mark the territory as their own -- not so much. And when I started seeing people actually attempt to block spaces this way DURING THE SUMMER (this was the first year I'd ever seen it, and in Lincoln Square, where the parking isn't even that difficult!), well, that was the end. When I saw this happening, I absolutely had to go and throw those chairs on the lawn. Not because I wanted to park there, but because it was so ridiculous. I only saw it once, so maybe I taught them a lesson! YEAH!
Oh, and yeah, it has to be either "The Jewel" or "Jewel's." Not "The Jewels," because what you're saying when you say "Jewel's," it's as if you were saying, "Jewel's place," "Jewel's house," etc. It's the possessive!
Dibs only works when there is a large enough snowstorm, or all the cars on ther street are plowed in. If there is not that much snow, where you are able to still pull your car in and out with out much problems, then dibs does not really work.
People practice this all the time in Rogers Park, along with most neighborhoods.
If I spend an hour digging my car out, call dibs and someone takes my spot, they will get a bucket or 4 of water on their car. Now, if it is a few days later or the snow has melted, packed down, I should not be able to call dibs anymore.
During the winter everyone should be allowed to park on the lawn so the plows can clear the street.
How about just being neighborly and digging out another spot? Then everyone has a place to park. And will you please stop piling the snow in front of or behind the car thereby eliminating a whole other parking spot with your snowbank!!! It's not that hard to get it on the curb.
Dwight makes a wonderful point about dibs, probably my favorite part of the whole practice: The Revenge Factor. I know several people who had no clue about the dibs practice, moved chairs/whatnot from their spots and woke up the next morning to find the aforementioned iced car, their cars keyed up, tires flattened, locks gummed up with glue ... you name it.
While I think there is an understood time limit with the dibs thing, there will always be someone who thinks that two tattered lawn chairs on the curb guarantees them a spot for the rest of the winter. If they haven't moved their stuff from the street, I'm not going to be the one to do it.
I have a brand-new car and I like its paint job in tact, thankyouverymuch.
Just out of curiosity, does anyone know where the term "dibs" originated. I've been using it for years and have never even thought about it's origin.
Dibs is a stupid and anti-social tradition and I wish it would go away (although I don't even own a car, so I don't think too much about it). We aren't the only city that does it, Boston has this lovely 'custom' as well.
... oh, and it is "The Jewel", that is what I grew up calling it.
Well I call it "Jewel" but you must not have been around much or associated with too many people if you haven't heard "Jewels" or "Aldis" etc. etc.
for reference:
i said "the jewels," to reference BOTH chicago colloquialisms.
"the jewel" and "jewels"
cause i think they're both sort of silly. i mean, really. shouldn't it just be "i'm going to jewel? or i'm going to jewel-osco?"
so, i was sort of poking fun at both of them in one fell swoop. sorry, guys. if anything, though...i'd lean toward the jewel, cause i like to put articles in front of things. the s, i don't quite get. "aldis." ??
Jocelyn, I'm just thankful that you've given those of us who don't regularly use the CTA, and instead drive, a chance to bitch and vent about a transportation issue because we usually feel so left out of such discussions. :)
I agree that it has been awhile since we had enough snow to justify "dibs" but I understand it (disclaimer: I grew up in Boston). A few years ago we got that New Year's storm, and that justified dibs.
A couple things to think about if you pitch someone's stuff:
It's" goin' to the Jools". Anyone who has spoken to a native knows this. As a native and a driver, DIBS sucks. Why should a space go unused for 10 hours because someone who shoveled is at work and thinks they own the street? It's total bullshit. In my 'hood. the morons don't obey the snow parking signs, they don't get ticketed and the dibsers waste a lot of good curbside space piling up the snow which won't be gone until March. I wonder when the mayor last had to find his own parking space?
i was never angry when my spot got stolen, because then i would go find another open one shoveled by someone else. ive never had lawn furniture or anything worth putting out there to mark my spot.
& it's NOT the "jewel," it's the "who-will"
Stupid people who think they are hipster big city types say things like "Jewels".
Come on. Speak English. It's not that difficult.
dibs are a bad thing..and I have lived in the city for 12 years..
better solution..get off your ass..and dig your car spot out within 48 hours of the snow storm..
so the plows can clear out the problem.
If the City ticketed $250 for not plowing your car within 48 hours...the street would be immaculate and make a shit load of revenue.
the reason my car is STILL in the spot it was before the storm hit is because
1. i didn't want to deal with driving it in the storm
2. i didn't want to deal with the 'dibs' dilemma
3. i didn't want to start to deal with negotiating parking along snow routes (is it 2 inches of newly fallen snow or 2 inches of permafrost?)
and 4..... (correct me if i'm wrong, and i know you will) because the city does NOT plow side streets!! right? am i right? especially the ones in my neck of the woods that are majorly slowafied with 4-way stops, speed "humps," AND traffic circles!
so....i'm unsure where all these cars would go 48 hours after the storm? would daley's majorly efficient streets and san fleet be able to plow all these streets? would all the cars just hang out at the jewels?
I am a lifelong native and have lived all over the city and have never heard anyone say they are going to "the jewels." It's either "the Jewel" or plain old "Jewel."
If I see furniture on the street I bring it to the nearest dumpster I can find just like any other piece of garbage I find. Dibs is a pathetic practice.
In reply to Attrill who thinks that if you bitch about dibs you are from the burbs - my take on it is that if you practice dibs then you are a mf'n lazy ass who is afraid of a little work. Boo Hoo sometimes you have to shovel more than one spot - welcome to Chicago.
A good solution is to just dig your car out just enough to get out but not clear out the rest of the spot on the street. That way there is less incentive for people to park where you parked. Why exert energy to do what the city's job is supposed to be? Why clear out the snow just so other unwitting person parks in it later? Why waste time being out in the cold when you could be inside being warm (and maybe watching other people shovel parking spots?)
my family in the south suburbs says "the jewels." but that's the only store that gets the article - other than that, it's "eagle's," "jiffy lube's," and my favorite, "cubs's" (for cub foods).
It's "the Jewel." And going to a movie is "goin' to da show." The thing I've never understood is why Des Plaines is "dissplaines" but De Moines is "dahmoyne."
My advice on dibs: let it go. If you don't like it, try not to think about it. Most people who practice dibs are natives who lived in your neighborhood before you and the car you raraely drive arrived - - back when they could easily find a spot in front of their building. So some, not all, are spoiled and, in my opinion, lazy and ignorant. They'll literally spend an hour hosing down someones car because they had to shovel for fifteen minutes. They see the issue as a me-versus-the-mysterious-suv-driving-yuppie. I've lived here eight years and I can't remember ever having a spot "stolen" and replaced with furniture ... and if one was, chances are I just parked in a dug-out spot when I returned. The guy who's spot I probably grabbed most likely did the same. Soon all the spots are clear, everybody's happy, and very few people had to dig out more than one or two spots, max. Dibs is an ugly practice and it's not civil, but life isn't fair and it will probably outlast us all. Live and let live I say.
Moon, you talk like that about my grandma again and she will kick your ass.
Really,
Moon must think that most of the working class and poor working that I've worked with are "Hipsters". High-larious. I'm sure it's said all of those crazy ways, I only know what I've heard the most. hee hee.
The practice of calling dibs on parking spaces with trash and nasty recliners that develop attractive mold spots when the snow melts is something I've never understood, though I've lived in Chicago for years. If someone is driving their car around the neighborhood after a huge snowstorm, doesn't that mean that they, too, had to dig out their car and have left a sweet spot somewhere else? (Unless they have access to a crane or some sort of superhero powers to lift their car free of the snow.) Sure, that spot they dug out may not be right by your favorite place to park on your block (or even in your neighborhood), but still: they've probably done their duty somewhere in the city. There should be enough spots to go around--like good karma.
I'm calling "b.s." on "dwight's" post: dude, if it takes you "an hour" to shovel out one parking spot, you shouldn't be out in the cold anyways.
Again, 10-15 minutes worth of work does not entitle you to space on a public street, should you decide to move your car. Nor does it give you a free pass to commit criminal acts, such as the vandalism you described.
And this notion of "dibs" being a long-time tradition in the city is pure fiction. It didn't start until the Blizzard of '79, when we got so much snow that the city was basically anarchy for the better part of a week. Before that storm, everyone shoveled their car out and let the chips fall where they may. After that storm, people thought that once-in-a-lifetime snow event suddenly entitled them to a personal parking space for a week or more every time we got an inch of the white stuff.
I'm one lifelong city resident who thinks that the practice of dibs is moronic.
Great post Norm - I agree 100%. I take exception with Attrill's post about making an old lady walk three blocks over unshoveled snow carrying groceries. Huh? I'm sure that old lady can shovel a spot in less time than Dwight and she wouldn't put furniture out to save it. Also as a Chicago lifer I really don't appreciate Attrill claiming that if you bitch about dibs your from the burbs. wtf
The 'burbs thing I wrote was half joking - I was paraphrasing the mayor's speech last year (same with the "you're taking a risk" which he also said).
The old lady scenario is not hypothetical - about 8 years ago I had a neighbor who was 75 or so and could not shovel at all (I shovelled for her). She saved her space all winter long (she definitely milked it, but hell, she was 75). The bigger problem was people not shovelling their sidewalks (she took a few falls, one of which laid her up for a month or so).
Calling people who claim dibs lazy is hypocritical - why not dig out a new space instead of moving someone's stuff? Too lazy?
Dibs people are for the most part lazy. And I've never moved someone's stuff. I clear out a spot. Once I've cleared out one or two, I park in empty spots. Although I disagree with the practice, I'd never move something I wouldn't move if the dibber wasn't right there watching me. Even if you feel you're right, why contribute to the passive aggressive dysfunction? Live and let live.
Tacking an "s" onto the end of things is a small part of the southern accent which creeped into midwestern vernacular when immigration moved people from the south to the midwest at the height of the industrial age.
Hence, Ford becomes Fords, Kmart becomes K-Marts, and Jewel becomes Jewels. Lets all embrace our inner Kentuckian.
No, adding an "s" is done by the illiterate and by people trying to emulate the illiterate because they think it's "cool" (hipster doofuses)
When I lived in Pilsen, there was this nasty family who 'dibs'ed the spot in front of their house. We mostly left it alone, until it got to be fuckin April and they mik crates were still out there. So, we started zipping down the back stairs late at night and ganking them. Got about 20 crates before we moved outta there.
Here's an idea- have the city FUCKIN PLOW the sidestreets. Do it like the street cleaning- post something the day before saying 'move your shit off this side of the street between 9 and 3 tomorrow', and clear it out. No snow, no crap lawn furniture, no parking hassle.
moon -- give a rest would ya, most every city has it's regional idiosyncrasies that most people recognize as non standard English, but unlike you most people don't really care that much.
Quack has it right. For the life of me, I could never figure out why the city never implemented a snow-removal program like the street-cleaning program. If the city would do that 12 hours after the last flakes hit the ground, parking wouldn't be so much of a hastle and the fucking "dibs" bullshit would stop.
My biggest gripe with snow removal is with the CTA. The CTA will only clean out the area inside of a covered bus stop. The rest of the bus stop will be covered in snow. If the CTA would take the extra 10 minutes to clean out a 15 foot length of clear sidewalk (or clean the whole stop, which generally run about 10 feet), transportation would be so much easier.
Oh, and it might be a good idea to actually buy trucks that actually REMOVE the snow, instead of just pushing it to the side.
I'm sorry but... is it unreasonable for me to expect that columns in CHICAGOIST should actullay be written by people FROM Chicago? Not Arlington Hts, not Tinley Park, not Valpo. CHI-CA-GO.