Guys: Don't Listen When Your Lady Says She Just Wants Your Semen

By Alicia Dorr in News on Apr 12, 2006 8:17PM

We’re sort of wondering: Why would you have your deadbeat boyfriend give you sperm for an in vitro pregnancy when you were still together? And why, if you were the deadbeat boyfriend, would you do as your sperm-crazy girlfriend asked and then stay with her until three months after the birth?

It doesn’t really make any effing sense to us that people would use the expensive and somewhat risky method of in vitro when you could have your loser boyfriend knock you up for free, but that’s exactly what one couple did. Now, obviously because they couldn’t get on Judge Mathis or Ricki Lake, the mother has taken the sperm donor father to an actual courtroom to sue for money and help with their 2-year-old twin futuristic babies.

The guy is alleging that his ex-girlfriend said, “I just want your semen.” She must have been talking about all his low-ranking Navy friends, because she says no. He has A.) actually been to see the babies and so have his parents; B.) showered her with gifts and jewelry while she was pregnant (Thanks for carrying my seed, lady!) and C.) co-signed for a bank account for them already. She wants him to pay child support and help with college now.

It’s time like this we imagine that, if we were judges, we would ask for a quick recess, go to our office and guffaw, and then come back and blame it on our ulcer.