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This week, we bring you stories of several thefts, but only one leaves us thinking that the punishment may have been worth the crime, and the bragging rights that come along with it. Chicagoist’s motto has always been “go big or go home.” Well, actually, we’ve never said that in our lives, but if we were into stealing stuff, we think we might. Here’s to the dreamers – May you never cease to entertain us.
- In January, a man from downstate Jerseyville stole a truck full of Bud Light. Mmm, beer. Us? We would have waited around for the Guinness truck. He was planning on selling the booze in East St. Louis but is now facing three years in prison.
- Chicagoist knew it was only a matter of time before we brought you a This Week in Stupid story from our very own hometown, but we’re proud to say the offender is not a resident. In October, a Chicago man working at the Jewel-Osco in Highland, Ind., locked a mildly mentally handicapped female co-worker in the store’s restroom. Oh, and he sold a $3.49 bottle of brandy for $1, adding theft to his charges. Way to think big buddy. He’s been sentenced to two years in prison for the crimes.
- Five local college students have pleaded guilty to stealing 18 penguin statues from downtown Hinsdale. According to the Hinsdale police, it took 12 people and power tools to unbolt the penguins from the ground -- some of the statues are six feet tall and weigh 60 pounds. See what we mean about thinking big? And all they got were a couple hundred dollars in fines and restitutions. The penguins are resting comfortably at Brookfield Zoo.
- We feel a little bad about including this, but we just can’t stand goofy proposals, especially when they’re televised. A California student proposed to his girlfriend at the top of the Sears Tower this week. Not the most creative setting, but not terribly obnoxious, right? Except that he was dressed in a Superman costume, cape and all, and had invited the local media for the event. We wish them the best of luck, and judging by the mortified look on his new fiancé’s face, they may need it.
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so which one are you endorsing? the penguins? i'm all behind the penguins. an organized group effort, and they got off light. sweet. it would have only been better if they would have made a video with the penguins and put it on you tube.
You know, even Superman chose not to wear his costume when he proposed to Lois. Which proves once again that no matter what, you should always ask yourself "What Would Superman Do?"
I don't know if I "endorse" it, but I think the Penguin thing is funny and pretty harmless.
Wonder what the other people in the elevator to the Skydeck thought when he got on in his Underoos.
the jewel-osco guy got two years in prison? how the hell long did he lock her in?
isnt the the jewel thing kind of like abduction/kidnapping?
Proposing to your girlfriend dressed as Superman is totally gay. I would have chosen the Green Lantern...
My question is this. Did he dress up like Superman because his girlfriend likes Superman or because he does? Because if it's the latter, that's just weird.
When I proposed, it was not just picking a superhero and going with that. Neither of us are huge superman fans, but she just calls me that as kind of an inside joke. And I changed in a small room that had a frieght elevator in it in which I did not even strip down to my "Underoos." It turned out perfect!