Yes, Your Barista Does Hate You

SKIM MILK is the same as NONFAT MILK. Do not order a “skim nonfat latte” – it’s redundant. Similarly, don’t say that you want a “grande skim latte” and then correct me when I call out “grande nonfat latte.” You bitch.

The fact that I'm expected to make a drink order with these specifications in the first place is why I don't go to Starbucks and just make my own damn coffee.

Oh, Starbucks. Although I kind of feel for the guy, you have to deal with asshole people and work for evil incarnate.

Do people actually order their 'lattes' in that superficial sounding 'nonfat-double-extra-crack' way?

I just say LARGE COFFEE BLACK.

AJ: i feel like a douche every time i say it, but they do make my tall halfcaf nonfat no whip mocha mochas the way i want them. (i really wish i were making that up.)

First of all, let me say that no matter how bitchy I can be in day-to-day life, I think of myself as a very nice, very considerate customer who does none of the things the venter complains about. Someone is doing me a service (a paid one, but anyway...) and I'm grateful, so I am nice and concise and fair to them. I even tip. That being said, I have often run into totally horrible, mean baristas. So the people saying it's best for them to vent rather than take it out on customers? Some are probably doing both.

I'm going to go ahead and name names here. The Starbucks in Roscoe Village on Roscoe Street and Seeley (maybe Hoyne?) has the meanest snake baristas I've ever met. Every single time I have to deal with them, whoever is serving me is a total asshole. In fact, once I called them to find out what time they closed because their hours were different than listed on the website, and whoever answered would barely answer my question then hung up on me as I was asking for the hours for the weekend. Thanks, dude.

I can't stand some of the customers at Starbucks (and I'm a customer) so I completely feel for the people behind the counter.

Do you think that making it "half caf, half soy, tall in a grande cup and double hot" makes it taste any different? It's coffee people!!!!

mo, i hear you on the roscoe village starbucks. I swear those guys are high from sniffing latte fumes all day. But on the other hand, i would be going postal too if i had to deal with all those damn soccer moms, their Hummer style strollers and the fact that they think every damn restaurant has to cater to their kids demands! not to vent and all, but its like a frickin mom mafia and it has to end! its my sidewalk too dammit!

Personally I'd never continue to patronize any business whose employees treat me with open contempt. You can think whatever you want about your customers. It's clearly not necessary to have some Pollyanna-ish view of them, or to jive with them like they are old friends because they pay you for a service. Certainly I've privately decried the stupidity of my own customers countless times. I've even commiserated with colleagues using blunt, colorful language.

However, if you can't help but treat your customers with obvious disdain, you should be fired. Or quit. No matter how stupid, patronizing, self absorbed or obnoxious they are, it is after all the service or product they purchase that pays your bills. That's not to say you should accept abuse from customers. But one's personal threshold constituting "abuse" shouldn't be so low that one customer is treated brusquely because some other customer was indecisive about their order or was too narcissistic to comprehend that the guy that's schlepping their morning dosage of caffeine doesn't care about their awesome new condo.

All that said, while the original poster of the rant should probably find another job if only for his/her own sanity, I think a lot of what they said has a ring of truth. At least based on my own experiences at the hydra. Personally, I'd just like to know why Starbuck's espresso is so damn weak I could barely taste it whenever I've ordered a half water Americano. I don't know how people tolerate that weak shit when it's drown in a gallon of milk...

If everyone would actually read the full post at Starbucks Gossip, they might note the first point:

...we are outwardly friendly -- because we are paid to do so. You are not getting special treatment, and we really don’t give a shit about your last vacation or your new baby or your real estate problems. We ask how you’re doing because it’s a way of making conversation, and we are pressured to make conversation in this line of work. Now, there are some customers who are genuinely liked, but they’re few and far between. If you have to think about it, you’re probably not one of them.

As a former SBUX Barista/Supervisor/Manager I can assure you that there are a number of great, wonderful customers that come in every day. There are also many, many customers who act exactly like this post describes. It's brilliantly observed and hilarious to boot.

You shouldn't take offense, you should reflect on if you behave in any of these ways.

One of the incredibly interesting things about SBUX as a cultural phenomena is the impassioned response it elicits from nearly everyone--customer or no. But the overwhelming majority seems dismissive of the company in some way, usually as either pretentious ("it's just coffee") or as sub-standard (the upper-classes and anyone who doesn't understand Barista frustration). And yet, it's exactly the fact that SBUX treads this middle ground of upscale coffee house and quick & easy caffeine emporium that keeps all of these people coming back.

Fascinating, furthermore, is the reaction this post receives, either 1) SBUX is evil, i guess this proves that or 2) what an angry person, time to get another job. But what about some sympathy, eh? While not necessarily as venomous, there are a thousand other Baristas in Chicago who would be much happier if every customer walking in had read this post and thought "Hey, am I acting like that?"

The post is, essentially, not about anger but about customers complete lack of respect for SBUX and those that work there. These frustrations are there, for ALL employees, some just do a better job of understanding and hoping that, someday, the customers will try to do the same.

========

As a subpoint, I would like to note that a "venti-double-nonfat-vanilla-machiatto" order would probably get you shot. Not because it's complicated, but because it doesn't exist. A Double Vanilla Nonfat Machiatto does (and is two shots espresso, vanilla syrup, and a dollap of nonfat foam in a Short cup).

The frustration is not with you ordering complicated drinks (many SBUX employees do the same) but with not ordering correctly and then, often, being disappointed and angry with what you received or when we try to clarify. SBUX has a menu and ordering system that is well established and explained, but due to the aforementioned lack of cultural respect, it is rarely followed. Does one walk into an Italian restaurant and order "Noodles, wide, with some sauce" and expect to receive Fettucinni Alfredo?

It always makes me think of the classic sitcom or movie shot of someone walking into a bar, sitting down, and ordering "a Beer." Good luck with that. When will coffee gain the same respect?

Agreed. As a former SBUX barista I'm just glad ... that I quit to work at Intelligentsia. My four years working there were mostly pretty wonderful.

hmm:
I can't think of many better jobs for people who need to work part-time and still have insurance benefits while pursuing their education or (not very well paying) careers in art, theatre, music, etc. In Chicago, at least, that is a very large percentage of the SBUX employment pool.

Rob:
Are Intelligentsia customers more respectful? I hope so, since that's pretty much the only place I go for coffee anymore. I'm curious about independent houses in general, as my experience suggests that many of them could pen a similar rant, but more along the lines of "If you're going to behave like a twit, go to Starbucks down the street."