Extra, Extra

• To help keep Lincoln Park Zoo free, they will sell beer and wine this summer. You can enjoy a buzz to help you forget the ambivalence you feel while seeing cool animals ... locked up.
• The suspect arrested today who is accused of being "The Bishop," a man who sent threatening letters and mail bombs ... used to be a mail carrier. Dear Lord. What's up with the Post Office?
• Animals are crapping in our houses and we're cleaning it up! Did we lose a war?
• A Richton Park woman threw her kids out of a window from a burning building into the arms of an unknown hero, and then jumped to safety herself.
• Wilmette approved an innovative tree replacement ordinance to preserve their leafy canopy ... but don't they remember the cicadas are coming???

"Sanitation" by pantagrapher