Free Nibble?

We admit it. We like free stuff. Even if we don't like the radio station handing out free stickers after a show, we'll still take them. Likewise, we'll try any free sample at the grocery store, especially if it's liquor. It doesn't matter if it's good liquor or not — if it's free, we're trying it.

While perusing the "Free Stuff" section on craigslist, Chicagoist found the usual "Free Boxes," "Free Dirt," "Free Haircut" and "Free Sofa."

We don't need any of these things, but it's nice to know they're there if we suddenly decide to bob our hair. What freaked us out were the posts offering free food. One of them was fairly routine: dried milk, canned beans and rice. We understand that everyone has had their moment of fearing a nuclear apocalypse and wants to make sure their fallout shelter is fully stocked.

The other advertisement for free food was something else entirely. A medium bag of sweet potatoes — OK, those will last longer than a week, that's reasonable. One orange squash — slightly more exotic, not as long a shelf life as canned beans, but if it was recently purchased, it's probably still OK. A big cheddar cheese — this doesn't sound too bad since it'll probably last longer than the squash, but when the poster adds "we just ate a little bit," that's where we draw the line. Nothing conjures up images of cheese unsuccessfully used as mouse bait faster than a partially eaten cheddar cheese. Why mention that any of it was eaten? To us, it's like advertising a free couch and including "We've lost some Cheetos in the cushions."