At the risk of inciting a riot, Chicagoist is back with another shameful (and frozen) secret. And the secret is simple: we like ourselves a frozen pizza every once in a while. We usually prefer fresh pizza over the frozen variety, but there are nights (usually intoxicated, late nights) where all we want to do is get home and throw a frozen pizza in the oven. Yes, the cheese is never as good nor the crust as crispy, but there's something to be said for the no-fuss attitude of frozen pizzas. Unfortunately there are a lot of bad frozen pizzas in the world. We find it hard to discern the good from the bad. Is it the packaging? Commercials on the television? Whatever you had as a kid? We decided the only way to be really sure which pizza was best was to try them all and then to figure out the outcome using a very specific, dare we say pseudo-scientific, system of analyzing data. Heck, we thought it would be a fun (and maybe informative) thing to do, so we did it.
We limited our pizza comparison to the brands at our local Dominick's. We considered going to more organic or gourmet food stores and searching out even more brands, but time and money limited the scale of our test. Though we can't tell you what the best frozen pizza in the world might be, we can tell you the people's number one choice from the options at the Dominick's on Broadway and Glenlake.
In all we had nine test pizzas. We limited ourselves to the most simple and traditional form of pizza, that of cheese, sauce and crust. We tried no stuffed, pocket sized or rolled versions of pizza. The pizzas that were compared are as follows:
1. Home Run Inn's Cheese Pizza
2. Freschetta's Ultra Thin 5-Cheese Pizza
3. Jack's Original Cheese Pizza
4. Amy's Kitchen Cheese Pizza
5. Red Baron Classic Crust, 4-Cheese Pizza
6. Reggio's Premium Cheese Pizza
7. Tony's Original Crust, Cheese Pizza
8. Tombstone Original Crust, Cheese Pizza
9. DiGiorno's Ultimate 4-Cheese Pizza
We made slips of paper for each individual pizza and asked our pizza participants to rate the pizza's cheese, crust and sauce. We also asked them for an overall rating. The scale was 1 to 10, 1 equaling extremely yucky and 10 being absolutely marvelous. We had a bunch of frozen pizza lovers come over and let the pizza testing begin.
Of course there were logistical concerns. First and foremost being that our oven could only cook two pizzas at a time. This resulted in a stuttered release of pizzas to be tested. Since beer was also being served (as befits a frozen pizza testing) we lost control of our test subjects' objectivity as well. Though it was a blind test (we kept the brands to ourselves and referred to pizzas by their numbers), we could not stop communication between testers. One person's taste and opinion would somehow influence the person next to them. These scientific problems aside, we did get enough data on each pizza to conclude that the winner was DiGiorno's Ultimate 4-Cheese Pizza. This was an across the board win in each category as well as in overall pizza. If this pizza was a gymnast it would win the uneven bars, pommel horse, floor exercise and all-around with style and aplomb.
In the cheese category DiGiorno's average score was 7.28 with Red Baron coming in second with a score of 6.875. The results were very similar in the sauce category with DiGiorno once again coming in first with a 7.57 and Red Baron coming in 7.375. For the crust it was, once again, DiGiorno in first place with a strong score of 7.14 and Amy's Kitchen in second place with 5.92. Pizza number 6, also known as Reggio's, came in dead last for each category. There was additional space on each form for any other comments. The comments for number 6 consisted of phrases like: "ass pizza" and "tastes like chemicals". We feel pretty confident in our recommendation that you shy away from Reggio's. The final standing of all the pizzas went as follows (this time 1 being the best and 10 being the worst).
1. DiGiorno
2. Tombstone
3. Home Run Inn
4. Tony's
5. Red Baron
6. Amy's
7. Freschetta
8. Jack's
9. Reggio's
We readily admit that we're not scientists and that our little tasting cannot be the definitive of all definitive frozen pizza taste tests. But it wasn't really designed to be. It was actually just a great way to get a bunch of people together for a little socialization. In fact, we reccommend you do your own frozen pizza taste test party and see whether your results mirror our own. Either way, it does seem that DiGiorno is a good bet for a lazy frozen pizza kind of night and we hope you consider it the next time you're in your local grocery store's freezer aisle.
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I still miss that DiGiorno's promotional storefront they rented on Michigan Avenue across from the Mac store a couple of months ago. Did anyone get a chance to try some free pizza over there?
Next time you do one of these tests, I would willfully submit myself to be one of your guinea pigs. I'm a frozen pizza enthusiast, for sure.
Tombstone w/ extra cheese is "old faithful" to me, and a few dashes of Louisiana Hot Sauce before placing the pizza in the oven guarantees just the right kick. On a price vs. quality scale, I will always put Tombstone ahead of DiGiorno's because I often find Tombstone to be at least $1, of not $2 cheaper at any grocery.
There's also an Amy's pizza which has broccoli and pesto on it, which rocketh my sockseth.
From the regular store it's gonna be Jacks or Home Run Inn but the best ever is the Trader Joe's (stone oven made in italy) pizza. The best frozen pizza I've ever had.
I love Tombstone extra veggies with meat or whatever.
that said the only time i buy the thing is when I'm drunk and I leave it in the bag on the floor next to the garbage.
i still eat it.
i love the lack of pretension in all the chicagoist foodies.
you guys rule.
Sorry to see that Totino's brand pizza wasn't a part of the test. Cheap, yes but it's #1 in my book for frozen pizza!
Monica,
I'm glad to know I'm not the only one who maintains a love for the pizza of my youth (and by youth, I mean childhood, college, 20s)--Tostino's. And you can't beat the price.
I love Trader Joe's organic spinach pizza. It is so awesome, and I have to buy two or three when I find it there, as many times it is sold out.
I used to like DiGiorno's as well, but since the grocery stores in Logan Square are disappearing (first Cub, then Dominick's), I have to go elsewhere.
DiGiorno all the way! It's my favorite too...
Home Run Inn all the way ... it also tastes twice as good as a leftover out of the fridge the next day (preferably at 3am).
I'm not a foodie at all, but a certified expert in frozen pizza. Dollar for dollar, Jack's is where it's at. Surprised it rated so low.
I haven't had one for a long time, but I used to swear by a particular supreme pizza from Jack's that had extra cheese. It was cheap, the crust was light and crackery, the cheese had at least a little flavor, and the toppings were plentiful. Even better, it was cheaper than the vastly inferior Tombstone and Red Baron offerings.
Speaking of which, maybe they've improved over the last several years, but those two brands along with Tony's always seemed bottom of the barrel to me. That said, Reggio's is truly abominable. I made the mistake of trying to eat one once and found it was salty enough to kill a yard full of snails. Freschetta could be a contender (decent cheese, flavorful sauce, plentiful quality ingredients) if only they could come up with a more manageable crust. After a few botched attempts at a satisfactory result (Too doughy, then too burnt, then too doughy AND burnt!) I gave up.
These days, if it's on sale, I buy DiGiorno thin crust and add some extra cheese (fontina or provolone) and some extra veggies (halved grape tomatoes, sliced peppers and onions) and maybe some fresh basil. It's a quick, cheap dinner when I'm too tired/lazy to cook and have blown my self imposed weekly budget for eating out.
I could care less about the actual pizza, when I'm broke as hell, I grab whatever's cheapest and dress it up a touch.
I like to roast some garlic cloves, maybe use some leftover bacon... I'm not picky. Plus Ranch dressing can cover anything.
And +1 to Stephen for suggesting Louisiana Hot Sauce. Have to try that next time...
Definitely Home Run Inn...no doubt. The frozen pizza you can buy at Lou Malnati's is also excellent but a little more than your average frozen pizza
No Connies? Can't believe that Dominicks didn't have Connies! That's the best frozen pizza out there, no contest.
I think Home Run Inn should score extra points for being both local and all natural. Plus it adapts well to some slices of fake pepperoni or chopped onion and pepper.
I'm completely on the Home Run Inn bandwagon. Man, that's good. I think it's even better than some delivery. You have to be careful, though, because the cheese coverage is so dense, you can scald your mouth pretty badly on it. also, something about the crust (which is SO tasty) sometimes wastes the roof of mouth.
however, even with all those caveats, nothing else comes close. and I hate Freschetta, it has the weirdest aftertaste, or undertaste, or something.
I know it's not on anyone's top-nine list but Totino's is the ultimate poor drunk person frozen pizza. Any pizza that you can pick up for 10 for $10 can't be bad. Plus it is small enough that you can eat the whole thing.
Man all you jokers are way off, the best thin crust frozen pizzas are the Jewel and Chef's Kitchen...
Home Run Inn frozen pizza is in a class by itself. No other frozen pizza comes this close to being like the real thing. No other!
One more vote for Home Run Pizza.
Used to love the Bravissimo! pizzas but they have changed their
business plan and now do not sell in grocery stores.
Everyone except me is incredibly stupid.
Reggio's pizza is great! The butter crust, the tasty meats, the lightness of the sauce! Either you undercooked it, or your subjects were too drunk. I say it's great, either frozen, or from the pizza stand on the south side.
Although Jack's was better before Kraft bought them out, I cant resist when they go 5 for $10 at the supermarket. Also surprised by their low rating.
Dear Caroline:
I want to apologize to you for being so mean-spirited in my comments in your last "dirty little secret" column about frozen enchiladas.
Whatever point I was trying to make, I could have and should have made it in a more humane manner. Also, I think your columns are just fine.
I was out of line and rude. My apology is sincere and I hope you accept it.
-JW
While I'm at it, I should say that I owe Chuck an apology as well. I was too snarky for my own good. I actually enjoy a lot of Chuck's posts.
I hope the Chicagoist is in a forviging mood.
-JW
Another for Home Run Inn...that crust is so tasty.
I'm interested to try the Trader Joe's pizzas, they sound great.
I've always enjoyed Jack's Mexican Pizza and my new found favorite is DiGiorno Spicy Chicken Supreme. That shit is sooooooooooo good.
I also like to dress up whatever frozen 'za I'm cooking up. Sometimes it needs a little more cheese, some oregano, crushed red pepper, garlic salt, or even a little tabasco.
WOW! i can't believe not so much love for jack's. i'm glad someone referenced a change in the jack's, though. i've noticed it. they used to be SO much better. but still. jack's supercheese?! shiiit. that stuff is the bomb.
can't believe there's not more props for jack's. although, in WI, there used to be friggin' SUPER awesome jack's that were like super secret double probation fundraising pizzas much like the ridiculously awesome nestle beich candy bars that seemingly were made of chocolate stirred by fairies or something. anyone?
The California Pizza Kitchen frozen pizzas are excellent. I'm a big fan of the Sicilian and the White, with 4 cheeses, spinach and garlic. They have a really thin crust that crisps up well.
another vote for Jack's. you can load those things up with fresh veggies and eat the whole thing without much trouble. home run inn is also fantastic, but they usually leave me feeling quite tired (and also you cannot eat the whole thing).