Planet Oprah

We are one of the few women left in Chicago – and, seemingly, America – that have not fallen under the mighty spell of Oprah Winfrey. Our coworker even snuck a pint-sized black & white TV into her office and watches it religiously; still we have not found ourselves in her thrall. We just can’t work up the enthusiasm for her superwoman, “Secret”-esque lifestyle. And what’s with all the ads in her magazine featuring thin, attractive white women? Mixed messages much?

How we feel isn’t important, though. What’s important is that Oprah is big business. When everything she touches turns to gold, you’d better bet your buns she’s going to take advantage of that. Commence rolling out the Oprah Store. A spokeswoman confirmed that the Big O’s planting a store across from Harpo Studios at 57 N. Carpenter. Little detail has come forth, other than it’s under construction and its dimensions will occupy roughly 4500 square feet. 27th Ward Alderman Walter Burnett must be plotzing over the good news. Tourists galore, brick-and-mortar store that’s been a long time coming, merchandise associated with Forbes’ most powerful celebrity … Cha-ching!

So what’s gonna be sold in the Store of O? Conjecture runs rampant at this point, but a fair guess would be stuff that’s already being sold in her online “boutique.” Oprah's Book Club material is a shoo-in. Branded clothing and African-made baskets also seem likely. Leather-clad posters of Obama? Probably far down the list, but we’d like to see that. Confidentially, we loved the little jab the Sun-Times took at Her O-ness concerning the ubiquity of her image:

And if it's true to form, shoppers will see pictures of Oprah, too. One or two at least.

Image courtesy of flagtothefloor.