Extra Extra: Make Your Own Captions, Again

Here are some things in the news while we do spit takes at the ticket prices for the upcoming Van Halen tour.

• A $300-a-year parking permit created for realtors, home health care providers, and social workers to plug a $2.4 million hole in the city's 2007 budget only generated $15,900 in revenue.
• Facing increasing criticism in allowing BP to increase the amount of pollution it can discharge into Lake Michigan, Indiana Governor Mitch Daniels ordered a review of his state's laws covering Great Lakes water quality and permits.
• Another woman was attacked on the north side, this time near Children's Memorial Hospital.
• Exelon, ComEd's parent company, expects earnings of $3.70 to $4 per share of stock, and a profit of up to $4.30 per share. Remind them of that the next time they ask for a rate hike.
• Thanks to Illinois Treasurer Alexi Giannoulias, now you can buy junk unclaimed property from the state on ebay.
• While Cedric Benson settles in as the Bears' lead running back, Thomas Jones suffers a strained calf muscle for the Jets.
• Congratulations to Eight Forty-eight host Steve Edwards, who is one of thirteen American journalists chosen for the University of Michigan's Knight-Wallace Fellowship for the 2K7-2K8 school year. Edwards will take a leave of absence beginning Friday to study how Latino immigrants reshape American politics, economics and culture.. Read the full press release here (Adobe PDF).
• Governor Blagojevich uses his power of amendatory veto to cut $500 million in pork from the state budget, funds health care with it instead.
• Someone's been watching "Deliverance": Extreme aerial bowfishing is the proverbial shit.
• Robert "The Douchebag of Liberty" Novak looks back at the career of his greatest source, Karl "Turd Blossom" Rove.
• "Your bodies, not ours." A Federal court ruled last week that Illinois pharmacists have the right to refuse dispensing emergency contraception, despite a 2005 state law requiring they do so.

"Untitled" courtesy of ankylosaur.