Extra Extra: "Downright Nucular"

Here are some other newsworthy items to ponder while we slap some Tiger Balm on our knees. Serves us right for riding our bikes to Morgan Park and back.

• Even when being deported, Elvira Arellano can't stop talking.
• She also got to see her 8-year-old son, Saul, before leaving. He's staying with his grandmother godmother.
• The "cell-phone bandit?" Now that's a robber with a gimmick.
• Bond for two men accused of robbing former Bull Eddy Curry was set at $5 million each.
• The burglary trial of former U of I football player Derrick McPhearson was delayed when a newspaper mentioned evidence that his attorneys hadn't seen.
• Scrap metal hounds and dumbasses using empty kegs as furniture are gonna make us pay more for draft beer.
• The proposed expansion of O'Hare Airport is being held up by a few holdout homeowners in Bensenville.
• Nine people were arrested after a three-month investigation of an open-air drug market in the Gold Coast.
• All this rain is bringing out mosquitoes, punny headline editors.
• Mayor Daley orders high-paid city staff to take another unpaid day off.

"Blanket" courtesy of p2wy.