Ruth-less Wilmette Couple Wants Their Turtle Back

The latest in our region's missing-pet stories comes from Wilmette, where Mary Ann and Howard Sandroff's beloved 35-year-old Gulf Coast box turtle Ruth has disappeared. Ruth normally spends most of her time in her swank backyard pen, but she vanished about two weeks ago; there were no signs of forced entry. Last month, according to the Sandroff's, an animal picked Ruth up and later dropper her in a neighbor's yard (turtles = tough to eat), and that's what they're hoping happens again.

Sure, the Sandroffs love her, but is Ruth really that exciting? Oh yes. A thousand times yes.

Ruth is a feisty one. The Sandroffs watched in horror when she murdered Ezekial, her randy mate. He pestered her so much that she laid eggs constantly, Mary Ann said.

"We thought she'd like to have a boy turtle, but she sure didn't like him,'' Mary Ann said. "She reached around and tore his throat out" with her beak.

Ruth preferred an inanimate partner. "We bought her a fake turtle, and she lived with the fake turtle and she moved him around all the time,'' Mary Ann said. "So she was kind of a spinster lady, but she did like the company of the plastic turtle."

So … that's the world's awesomest spinster turtle. She doesn't like lettuce, and given her penchant for throat-ripping, you should watch yourself. Ruth's about six inches long and four inches wide. If you spot her, call the Wilmette police.

Image via Wikipedia.