The School Board That Stole Christmas

By Alicia Dorr in News on Oct 4, 2007 6:47PM

In order to avoid a very scary riot involving grown men dressed up in Santa Claus costumes, Oak Lawn school officials have backed off from their proposal to stop celebrating Christmas and Halloween in the classrooms.

The Christmas controversy started when a parent brought to light the fact that Muslim holidays were neglected by the school system. In the spirit of Christmas, board members offered a compromise — holidays for no one! They decreed that the district should tone down holiday celebrations because, among other reasons, there really isn't enough time in a school day to celebrate all the holidays clustered around the winter solstice.

The community responded with great vengeance and furious anger, not to mention some choice xenophobia, like, "We're letting you come here, we're honoring you, don't dishonor us," from resident Linda Pferschy. Parents and community members came out in droves to save Christmas, feeling like they got screwed after the Jell-O fiasco (dietary restrictions of Muslim students, who make up one-third of the school's student body, sparked a debate over the substance because of its pork content and it was eventually eliminated from the cafeteria menu.) Eventually, each board member's heart grew 10 sizes and they gave back all the holidays.

Image via spiedies.com.