Halloween? More Like Boringween

First kids have to carry around hand sanitizers and stop eating ants, and now this: some suburban school districts are no longer allowing "scary" costumes at elementary schools on Halloween.

Administrators in Aurora and Geneva school districts, among others, have laid down the law when it comes to costumes on The-Holiday-Formerly-Known-As All Hallows Eve. Students are still allowed to dress up, but administrators are aiming for stuff along the lines of, say ballerinas, Elvises, two kids as a horse (dibs on not-butt!), hobos, clowns, superheroes, astronauts—not werewolves and vampires. No costumes of a violent or gory nature will be allowed. If a family still wants to send their child out of the door dressed as a zombie, he or she cannot have any fake blood on them, for example.

It makes sense to ban look-alike weapons, or anything that might seem gang-related. On the other hand, what's the point of being a zombie if you can't have little pieces of brain tissue globbed around your mouth? Are they afraid some kid is going to pee their pants? Boo-hoo. Rub some dirt on it.

Zombie kids via bestfreestuffonline.com.