Stroger Makes Hollywood Play
Put Down Your Nanowrimo And Leave The House
Sox Shuffle Continues
Jay-Z Announces 2010 Tour Dates. Chicago Not On List.
So we picked up this morning's Onion, we're sorry, we mean RedEye, and spit our coffee after reading Dustin J. Seibert's column. Who is Dustin J. Seibert you ask? Yeah, we didn't know either, but his theory about women has absolutely entranced us.
His theory?
Women who aren't much to look at (and aren't bitter because of it) tend to compensate with solid personalities. And some beautiful ladies don't really need personalities to get what they want in life.
Apparently Dustin J. Seibert was having a heart-to-heart with his man Milam, who said, "Attractiveness is entirely underrated." It was then that Dustin J. Seibert realized, "I've been hearing a lot of dissent from women who think my attraction to the fairer sex is too surface-level. His words confirmed that one doesn't espouse physical preferences; those feelings are just instinctual."
Erm, yeah. And then, after realizing that a dude likes a girl, he bonks her over the head and drags her back to his cave?
The sad thing is that, at the base, his argument is one we can see the average guy going along with. Judging by the focus of every car / snack / beer commercial we've stumbled across when we've stumbled past a TV with a football game on, it's fairly obvious the average guy buys into the idea that he can be a slob and still get the ladies. We're actually fairly surprised Dustin J. Seibert didn't throw in the fact that rich dudes get all the ladies too. It would have fit right into his column.
Our favorite is that, after 510 words going on and on about how looks are important in a lady, but not a man, Dustin J. Seibert closes with, "self-confidence is sexier than just about anything else" in an obvious attempt to defuse criticism like, well, ours.
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"So we picked up this morning's ... RedEye."
That was a mistake.
O.K., you got me, I admit this article was actually forwarded to me. I'd never actually pick up a RedEye.
I laughed at your first sentence and was going to say it was great. Then I realized what an insult your sentence was to the Onion, a great publication.
Tankboy: Reading the RedEye so you don't have to. Give this guy a raise.
Wait, if there's a raise involved I might ... naw, even more dough couldn't make me choke down the RedEye on a daily basis.
I, for one, am outraged.
I, for one, am outraged
That guy is such a fucking idiot.
I looked up our favorite Red Eye columnist online, and this is what
his bio says :
Dustin J. Seibert is a native Detroiter whose journalism career brought him to Chicago in 2004. The University of Michigan graduate moved to the city in 2006 with the intention of reporting and putting into print the city's bourgeoning hip-hop scene.
2004? or 2006? What? How can you screw up your own bio?
I did not RTFA, but what you quote is essential true, if a bit rough. An attractive woman with a terrible personality is still going to get plenty of attention from men.
A less attractive person has to realize that she isn't going to get by on looks so that have to be, you know, interesting.
It's probably true for men too, with the caveat that being successful or rich will make up for being unattractive as man.
The fallacy here is that people can just choose to have a good personality if they feel they need one.
Also, an I am really not trying to start a flame war with my first two comments, this is essentially what you said about DJ Collette.
Dustin J. Seibert: Setting bikini models about 10 decades back.
@pantagrapher
I'd disagree with that. I think I've met a fair amount of people who choose to have bad personalities, particularly in the legal profession.
I think "good personality" might be a catch-all phrase for being kind, generous, interesting, humble, etc.
I swear I am not Justin Seibert. To prove it, I am going to go on record as saying I don't like his goatee.
Maybe he spent two years living it up in Naperville before working up the nerve to tackle the big city?
The fallacy here is that people can just choose to have a good personality if they feel they need one.
How true, how true!
On the other hand, it's perfectly possible to cultivate a bad personality on a moment's notice.
i think we all learned something from this column.
pimps up, hoes down.
I don't get it...what's false? That beautiful, dumb, boring women will still get tons of men, albeit ones who may not hang around long? That's not true?
I mean, shit, he says: "Essentially, you could be Halle Berry, Salma Hayek and Roselyn Sanchez rolled up into one superbabe, but if your talking makes me want to buy earplugs and a bottle of Jack Daniel's, I won't hang around long."
What's so caveman-esque about that? Jesus, who are you politicking to with this post?
I learned what I'm not missing by skipping RedEye. I also learned that women are still the nigger of the world.
You afficionado's of public access cable TV are likely familiar with the extremely low budget skit show called "We're All Geniuses in France."
Anyway, I recall channel-surfing into one episode where the host, as part of his opening monologue, said, "Oh, and to those of you who I see on the El reading the RedEye, please, for your own good, stop. It's like carrying a sign that says, "I'm not very bright."
I totally agree with his article. If a woman wrote it, it would be her telling the truth and bringing you know, the shame factor to an obvious problem. When a man writes it, it is like an endorsement of the status quo. (Which if I were a man, I would endorse the status quo).
But whatever, he is basically right. Personality develops so that ugly women can compete with beautiful women, at least if they want to, you know, go out on some dates.
Mondegreen, as Ferdy pointed out a couple posts later, I was talking about good personalities, not bad ones. Choosing to have a bad personality is like choosing to suck at basketball—anyone can do it.
I've been to my fair share of the small-venue hip-hop shows and I've never seen Dustin Seibert. 'Course, until today I never knew what he looked like.
But you think with a face like that and a "buffalo wing belly", he'd stand out in a crowd.
"So we picked up this morning's ... RedEye."
That was a mistake.
Thread should have been over right there. Pantagrapher wins.
OMG, the RedEye printed something stupid! What a surprise! Seriously "tankboy", stop wasting our time.
No, kookybites wins!
Getting your relationship advice from the RedEye is like cruising the free clinic for hook-ups.
Seriously, beyond animal waste pick-up what is the point of that paper?
Heh, I actually Googled "the purpose of the RedEye" and this was the first hit:
If it takes anyone 25 minutes to finish that paper they might want to get their eyes checked.
two things: first of all, because i think i have a decent personality (i.e., i can talk with a variety of people, have a decent sense of humor, etc.), does this automatically translate in dustin's mind to the fact that i am or think that i am a dogface?
secondly, i just want to say that the red eye does provide a free crossword for those of us who like a little wordplay but who arent NYT level players, and also some quick picks (some cta crap here and there, some music information, etc). it's FREE! however, i scan in about 5 minutes. it boggles me when i see people reading it for the whole time i spend on the train.
Hey Ferdy,
spoken like a typical Goo Goo stupid liberal. I don't see white women over represented in jail, (they are in college)nore unemployment lines. White women are certainly not last hired and first hired, actually they benefit from affirmative action more than Black people. (Google it) And while they don't earn more than white men, they earn more than Black people- Black men being at the bottom. Also look at the make up in the U.S Congress, both houses. And for the last 400 years who has been sleeping next to the president? Well when he wasn't sneaking into his slaves bed.
So next time you use that word Nigger, at least have some respect, but it’s hard to do that when you're a stupid liberal.
p.s I don't mind when people like Eminem or poor whites or hispanics use the word Nigger as in calling themselves Nigger or other white people or black people Nigger in solidarity with them. Actually I think it’s cool. But when a North shore Jewish women use it with out a clue who think they are smart when realy they are just another stupid liberal it just reminds me of why I hate liberals.
Now excuse me while I go eat some bad Chinese food
ta ta
I haz ugly fays.
I haz funy personaliti.
I haz want fo pritty wimin for mate.
Look me up...(LOLCAT)
Spook - Yell at John Lennon, a white male from England. He's the one who used it in a song.
Google "Spook is a kneejerk everything."
Its called no shame yall. Now she's gotta reach into the grave and drag Brotha John outta the coffin for this!
This has got to be a f*cking conspiracy, tossed a piece of Red- Stupid Eye meat, but instead of being able to chump down on it like 2000 pit bulls, I’m dealing with my screwed up Chicagoist profile, and Ferdy’s cyber flotsam and jetsam,
well.....
"They're starving back in China so finish what you got
Everybody's runnin' and no one makes a movvveeee
There's UfO's over New York and I ain't too surprissssed.
Nobody told me there'd be days like these
Nobody told me there'd be days like these
Nobody told me there'd be days like these
Strange days indeed
most peculiar. Mama."
p.s john wasn't no white man
And you're no black man.
Not an original thought as I read this somewhere, sometime but it's soooooooooooo true:
Every beer swigging, pot-bellied, hairy nosed guy out there thinks he's just 5 or 6 sit ups away from sitting in a hot tub with
Elle McPherson.
Another fact: The majority of men will over estimate their attractiveness in a personal ad, while women usually under estimate their attractiveness.
My two cents and some pocket lint
Every morning,I wonder how much the world has changed during my sleep. On the train to work, with the NY times I start playing catch-up. Not just cause I’m interested but also out of necessity.
This morning,-like all others-,ridding the old blue, I was surrounded by a growing number of Red Eye readers that, -beside for a few minorities that appear more on the economic fringes-, all have the same “protected” well satisfied yet vacant look. I wondered with so much going on in the world,what toll will we pay as we in growing numbers increasingly tune out.
Hopefully yall will join me and share your concerns with both friends and acquaintances. We might be able to raise the debate about the continued numbing and dumbing down of the citizenry.
Now about Dustin J. Seibert who represents the liberal concept of affirmative action.
The Red Eye probably felt bad that in a mostly minority city,they had no Black writers.
They had three choices. A, They could’ve found a local Black hip hop scribe like “Mario” educated on the wide scope of the hip-hop movement that started as an ingenious and powerful response to inner city neglected that spread across the globe? Nope this person might “rock the boat” at the paper.
C, they could've gotten a local white hip hop head, like Kevin Covil who “gets it” 94 percent of the time and would not make his office mates feel too uncomfortable? Nope, he or she would end up pushing for an authentic minority voice on Black Chicago at the paper. Heaven forbid they be two!
B: They could get a flashy jiggy bling-bling rap party clown,attuned to Shawn P. Silly, Goofy Combs. This person would be like J.J on Good Times. He’d make them laugh with out challenging them. Yea, he would make light of rampant domestic violence while the search for Stacy Peterson’s battered dead body goes on. But hey they can just roll their eyes and smile writing it off as that’s just how their funny mascot clown Dustin J. Seibert is, while looking forward to the Red Eye Office Christmas Party. Because you know Dustin J is gonna keep em laughing!
Needless to say, they choose B
Its Thursday yall! So yall stay cool
like how I know yall be cool, a'ight?
p.s
Ingrid, I can see merit in what you’re saying,
but riddle me this?
Back in school, down the hall from me roomed this dude that I was half way civil with who had a TV. Sometimes a bunch of folks would watch Sinefeld(?). Besides for having no minorities, it wasn't that awful because I liked the tall crazy dude, who of course wasn't as cool as the tall crazy dude, named Jim from Taxi.
Any way, the little Fat dude, -Sinefield's(?) best friend- would always get really thin women and he was fat and balding! How come you never see any fat white women, let alone fat white balding women- getting with thin white men on TV?
At least not the last time I watched TV. What's up with that?
Maybe white beer swigging, pot-bellied, hairy nosed guy thinks they can sit in a hot tub with
Elle McPherson, because yall aint speaking out about how TV portrays yall?
Ok Spook, I don't think it's so much of a riddle. I don't think that race or color come into the picture at all.
Look at the Bernie Mac show. I think Mac is ugly and yet look at his tv wife, Wanda. She is extremely attractive. You could compare this to George on Sienfeld.
But George's girlfriends on the show were never '10's', they were marginally attractive at best.
(and I don't think Mac is ugly because he is black, I'm white and there are many, very, very dark skinned black men whom I have found extremely attractive in my life. Facts is facts and he is uuuuugly!)
Another example would be the movie where Vanessa Williams was married to Cedric The Entertainer...another very mis-matched match. But that's Hollywood for ya.
There is no way in hell that they would match up Roseanne Barr with Kevin Costner, or Wanda Sykes with Denzel Washington or any combination thereof.)
I guess it's art imitating life.
And actually, it was kind of a running gag on the Seinfeld show about how George, who was fat, short and balding, wanted to date only women who were way more attractive than him. This is the difference between men and women.
These short, fat, balding men actually think they have a chance (and they probably do if they are wealthy because we all know that there is no shortage of shallow, materialistic women out there...look at Ellen Barkin! She went through a bitter divorce recently from a short, fat, bald billionaire.)
but the vast, vast majority of women who are short, fat and unattractive do not harbor such personal misconceptions about what they are capable of 'getting'.
Believe me, every time I watch that show and I see George hooking up with a semi-attractive woman I gag. I would NEVER in my life date a jerk like him, so I never got that.
But the writers on the show were probably mostly men and men believe this to be true: that they are all just 5 or 6 sit-ups away from sitting in a hot tub with Elle McPherson or Alicia Keys or whatever your hot-preference is.
If it takes anyone 25 minutes to finish that paper they might want to get their eyes checked.
If it takes that long, I question whether or not this person actually knows how to read.
I like the RedEye during my commute cause occasionally it has something funny in it, not to mention the sudoku. Plus it leaves the real Tribune untouched for me to read later in the day.
Also Spook, there are at least two other black writers other than Seibert regularly in the RedEye, so it's not like his column is there so they can have the token black guy.
some of what this guy said is true, but the way he worded it comes of, as you said, misogynistic.
yes, emotions are instinctual, to a point, but we are supposed to be an evolved species who have the ability to actually NOT function on a purely emotional or instinctual level. if this guy thinks he/we can't then he's got a whole hell of a lot to learn.
and really...is a hot chick with a bad personality getting dates/relationships/marriage saying more about that particular female or more about the guys who are willing to be superficial enough to put up with a heinous c*nt just for the sake of some arm candy?