Chicagoist: Because the City Is So Different When You Are Attached

vit

Thu, 06 Dec 2007 08:10:54 -0600

Oh ... and Spook, is this 'boy meets girl' story just your personal angst or some larger misogyny you've got going on? You told it as if this small minded dimwittedness is endemic to women in general. I'd venture to say it is just perhaps the women you seem to attract ... and then you ever so logically made the leap that it was ALL women in the greater Chicago area. Nice going bud.

vit

Wed, 05 Dec 2007 15:26:36 -0600

Funny, that describes a bunch of new yorkers I know too. The truth is, there is very little more pathetic and vapid in my mind than the 'williamsburg hipster' ... and having been to Brooklyn 5+ times in the past two years, it is sadly something I've had plenty of first hand experience with. You're hangin' with the wrong crowd spook. Where are you planning on escaping to? The great imaginary hipster haven in the sky?

Spook

Wed, 05 Dec 2007 10:20:23 -0600

Ferdy, not bored, just momentary escapism from, what pays the revolution. I hate having to add my two-cents to personal dating gripes, but I didn’t start it/ It’s not the lack of dating, it’s the perpetual, what I like to call three month Midwest relations. Boy meets girl that look/acts so NY hip. Boy discovers in actuality girl does not reading, has no interests in the “larger world” and no passion for ideals bigger than herself. Relationship ends and the cycle continues, serious, Chicago is nothing but a “larger mall” crowd. I can’t wait for the great escape.

Sekond2none

Wed, 05 Dec 2007 01:40:33 -0600

Being a single, gay, male looking for a monogamous ltr in Chicago...now that sucks! You single heteros have it soooo good!

vit

Tue, 04 Dec 2007 18:35:44 -0600

Mo - I agree with you. Getting 'Un-single' has been a bit of a challenge for me as well (I'm in my 30's). Don't get me wrong, I'm not pining away in the corner, I have a great time here as a single person, I'm constantly busy and have a pretty active social life, love my job, neighborhood, etc. But yeah, that whole getting 'un-single' bit (especially if you are a bit older with some standards) isn't all that easy. ... perhaps I really should buy a 'hers' Bears jersey and hang out at Geha ;)

Olive

Tue, 04 Dec 2007 17:30:12 -0600

Laura alluded to this guy's horrible writing, but that was the dumbest article I have ever read. It sounded like a third grade essay. I am single and I don't really hit the social scene that much, but my other single friend who is very active socially - (volunteers as an usher at the Steppenwolf, goes salsa dancing, goes to fashion shows, all kinds of random, spontaneous stuff... like the other day she went to a cooking show/benefit for Barack Obama....) - meets a lot of guys. She meets men everywhere. Are they necessarily decent human beings or marriage material? More often than not, they don't seem to be good matches for her. But I still think Chicago is one of the better cities to be in as a single. There's really so much to do here - Newberry LIbrary lectures, local band concerts, book clubs, and tons of public spaces like the Millennium Park, the subway, the grocery stores...etc. I heard Madison, WI is the worst place to be single, because almost everyone meets their spouses in college, and when you are in your mid-twenties to late thirties, you are in the minority as a single person.

new and improved guest no2

Tue, 04 Dec 2007 16:46:30 -0600

Matilda- Right on. And I don't think your comments are mean-spirited. *shrug* I never had a whole lot of trouble meeting people to date living in Chicago - there are so many things to do & places to go to meet people. And - as a side note - things to do & places to go to HAVE FUN even if you are alone or with friends. I think if you have trouble meeting people, it's not a geographic problem. And having trouble meeting the RIGHT someone isn't a geographic problem either. Truth is - there are a lot more single people here than in other, smaller cities. And people tend to get married a bit later, so you are not made to feel like a freak if you are single and 30-something like you are in some areas of the country.

Laura Oppenheimer

Tue, 04 Dec 2007 16:12:01 -0600

Agreed Mo. You find that service, I'll sign up.

Mo

Tue, 04 Dec 2007 16:08:50 -0600

I guess my point is that it doesn't matter very much if there are tons of resources for singles if there just aren't that many singles in a city. I'm not saying Chicago is full of couples, but that is how it has felt. Every one of my friends and friends' friends are in relationships. I've actually had better luck in smaller cities because then I knew who was single and who was not. So, hmmm, what do I want? I want some of the awesome, hot guys I've met to dump their girlfriends. Is there a Chicago resource that does that? If not, can we start one?

matilda

Tue, 04 Dec 2007 15:52:47 -0600

Well, Mo, what more do you want, then? I can't imagine most places in the USA have the resources/chances for singles that Chicago does. Not trying to be mean, just blunt.

Shannon

Tue, 04 Dec 2007 15:50:45 -0600

matilda: hell yeah i want someone to hold my hand, i'm single ffs!

Mo

Tue, 04 Dec 2007 15:45:42 -0600

Matilda, Your mean-spirited comment "What more do you want? Someone to hold your hand?" notwithstanding, you're right about all those things. And I've met new people through the bars, on the el, etc, and they all seem great. But hardly any of them have been single. And I'm not much for speed dating or online dating. So again, in my experience, it's been hard to meet other single people.

Ferdy

Tue, 04 Dec 2007 15:17:37 -0600

Spook, I'd respond but I know that you provoke just to keep the conversation going - indicating that you are actually bored, which no truly cutting edge and cool person in this great city should ever have to be. Just ask Matilda!

Tankboy

Tue, 04 Dec 2007 15:09:26 -0600

vit, sorry it's been a system-wide problem, but I deleted your duplicated comments.

Spook

Tue, 04 Dec 2007 15:06:37 -0600

Vit, I missed that at first, funny!!! Oh and of course they were tragically over weight scoffing down fondue and the dumb marshmellows they serve Ferdy, I'm not a snob, I'm just cutting edge and cool 24/7, which is alot harder now that I no longer live in Wicker Park and remember it was Oppenheimer who droped this cultural bomb- excuse the pun- I just followed up! p.s hope that answered you question Attila :-)

matilda

Tue, 04 Dec 2007 15:05:39 -0600

What is so hard about being single in Chicago? You have: --A large population of people with a variety of interests, intelligence levels and physical qualities (I like super smart people and Chicago has plenty of those; I am sure dumbshit ex frat boys have no problem finding dumbshit Trixies); --A large list of activities to choose from every night, from cheap booze to lectures; --Various methods--online dating, clubs, delayed El rides, bars, concerts, etc--that help you meet people. What else is missing? What more do you want? Someone to hold your hand? I've been single in Chicago and found it far better than other places where I've lived.

mindylou

Tue, 04 Dec 2007 14:48:27 -0600

spot on, mo.

Mad Jack Deacon

Tue, 04 Dec 2007 14:42:46 -0600

To quote "The Simpsons": "Chicago. Canada's Miami."

Mo

Tue, 04 Dec 2007 14:37:50 -0600

Speaking as a perpetually single person, Chicago is a fine place for singles, but a not-so-great place for singles trying to get UN-single. There's online dating, but you can do that in any city. But otherwise, if you have any sort of standards, it's not all that easy to meet other singles. In my experience anyway.

thelou137

Tue, 04 Dec 2007 14:34:21 -0600

I like your graphic up there, Oppenheimer.

vit

Tue, 04 Dec 2007 14:15:13 -0600

I really wish Chicagoist would fix its servers, I got three 'internal error' messages when trying to post this not so clever response which everyone is now subject to in triplicate. ugh

Danger Beef

Tue, 04 Dec 2007 14:08:52 -0600

I speak this from painful experience: Chicago is a hard place to live when you're single. But it's absolutely amazing when you're not. I wonder if there is a great city for singles? Does anyone know of one?

vit

Tue, 04 Dec 2007 14:03:55 -0600

the last time I was forced to go to Geha- two months ago- a couple was sporting his and her's Bears jerseys ....oh, so you saw me and my beau, I feel like a celebrity now!

Ferdy

Tue, 04 Dec 2007 13:27:05 -0600

Spook - What a snob you are!

matilda

Tue, 04 Dec 2007 13:26:47 -0600

Spook: Is it hard to be so cool and on-the-edge all the time? Just wondering.

Spook

Tue, 04 Dec 2007 13:23:11 -0600

Geha's Fondue,(bring your 3rd degree burn insurance!), The Sears Tower, Crow Bar. Navy Pier, Mille Park! This dude aint from Au Canada, he's from Iowa and is just trying to sound hip! p.s interesting, the last time I was forced to go to Geha- two months ago- a couple was sporting his and her's Bears jerseys, and I'm not lying. It was my first and last time

j_am

Tue, 04 Dec 2007 13:06:51 -0600

"...you can visit these sites single, or attached; either way, you'll still want to shoot yourself when you get to Navy Pier. It's just the way things are." Ha!! Thanks, I needed that today.