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Fri, 04 Jan 2008 10:58:54 -0600

If the State bought the Cubs and ran them like the CTA: * The lights would flicker off in the middle of a night game and no one would flinch, the game would continue as if nothing had happened. * The announcer would sound like this: *BING BONG* "THIS is the sixth inning. THIS is a Cubs-Braves game. The SEVENTH inning is next. Cubs bat SECOND in the seventh inning." * Sometimes the announcer would get out of synch and announce the wrong inning. He would get stuck and keep announcing the wrong inning over and over, like 8 or 9 times. * Once in a while, right in the middle of an inning, all of the players will stop and sit down for say, 7 minutes. Everything stops. The toilets stop flushing, the faucets stop running, and the beer taps stop flowing. * The steps would have 4 inches of standing water every time it rains. Employees would throw sand on the water in an attempt to soak it up. * The game would start whenever the players feel like showing up. If the scheduled start time was 1:20, the window for first pitch time would be something like 10:30am to 4:30pm. * When a game is cancelled, they won't mention it to all the people entering the ballpark. Everyone will just sit there. * Instead of actual stats, the scoreboard will just display the date and time. * The Cubs would play consecutive games at ballparks located two blocks away from each other. * Sometimes the beer man will randomly pass by without selling you a beer. He will blow a loud whistle to warn/taunt you.

Chicagoist: Daley Wriggles Into New Position on Wrigley Sale

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