CPD Looking for More Tasers

Why yes, we are maxed out on "don't tase me, bro" jokes, why? Oh, there's a Taser story in today's Sun-Times? Hm...no, we just can't bring ourselves to do it.

Indeed the CPD is looking to expand its taser arsenal, from the 350 currently on the streets to 2,500. Police spokeswoman Monique Bond says Tasers are a "less-than-lethal" option, even though some doctors say Tasers can in fact kill you. Why does trauma surgeon Dr. Andrew Dennis think Tasers are super dangerous? Because he spent two years tasering pigs (whose hearts are about the same size as humans'), some of whom died.

In one test, 11 pigs were hit with 40-second electrical bursts. After a 10-second delay, they were zapped again for 40 seconds. The bursts caused "significant rhythm problems," and two pigs died of ventricular fibrillation, Dennis said. Other tests showed the barbs' location can affect the heart's rhythm, he said.

Taser pig, taser pig, does whatever a taser pig does.

Ahem. Dr. Dennis isn't the only one questioning Tasers' safety--Taser International's CEO was grilled by Canadian Parliament today. (He also unveiled the shotgun-style Taser, for all your distance-tasing needs.) But Tasers are still an increasingly popular--even among civilians. And this is the best infomercial we've seen in ages.

Image via Taser.org