Chicagoist: First He Loses a Ball in the Sun, Then He Injures...

cer

Tue, 04 Mar 2008 21:30:13 -0600

Why would you want that released to the press? What type of questions will the press ask him: So Felix, how are your balls?

plumbum82

Tue, 04 Mar 2008 17:36:20 -0600

SOMEONE needs to hold the Sox's balls. Those things are huge.

Kfunk

Tue, 04 Mar 2008 14:38:18 -0600

Sox players would get this problem too if Benjy wasn't always holding them.

HelpfulGnome

Tue, 04 Mar 2008 14:37:34 -0600

All snickering aside, this is quite painful, as you might imagine. It is indeed called a testicular torsion, and one or both testicles may be involved. Everything in your body moves around, and occasionally things get kinked up. If they don't get un-kinked soon enough, bad things can result: For instance, a wonderful couple of weeks where your teste swells up to 3 or 4 times its original size, hurts like the devil, and then slowly starts shrinking. But, since the swelling was part of the testicle's dying process (did I mention if not fixed right away, bad things happen?), it keeps right on shrinking over the next six months. Smaller and smaller it goes, until they surgically remove it. How do I know all this? It happened to me in high school. Not fun. Incidentally, it can happen to women, too: An ex-girlfriend of mine had an ovarian torsion and had to have emergency laparoscopic surgery to remove it. OK, stop cringing and go back to snickering...if you can!

jmagic

Tue, 04 Mar 2008 13:34:05 -0600

Pie's got his balls in a bunch over Spring Training. Good lord Joe ... that sounds, well, awful.

Mondegreen

Tue, 04 Mar 2008 13:19:35 -0600

The headline: Long Balls a Problem for Pie

JoeM500

Tue, 04 Mar 2008 13:13:03 -0600

You guys, obviously, haven't run in the humid heat before. Sometimes, after riding my bike to work in the Summer, I have one twisted 3 or 4 times around itself. I have tried everything from ice packs (for continual shrinkage) to heavy doses of Gold Bond Medicated Powder... nothing seems to work

Von Erich

Tue, 04 Mar 2008 11:52:18 -0600

He has long balls. Needs the No Fly Zone underwear.

mike_thoms

Tue, 04 Mar 2008 11:27:58 -0600

I believe it's called testicular torsion, but that involves both testicles twisting around each other...as seen on Adult Swim's Venture Brothers. Maybe Pie only had one jacob twist around in place? Either way it sounds awful.