Chicagoist: Snow, Snow, Go Away

joseph_dunphy_in_chicago

Sun, 30 Mar 2008 12:46:29 -0600

It's time that I broke the news to some of you. There is no such season as Summer - or Spring, either. In Chicago, Spring, especially, and that "May" business? No such month. We just invented it and told some of our more suggestible neighbors about it, just to drive them nuts. Can you blame us? You're so easy. The reality is that it always has been winter. It always will be winter, and the temperature will never rise above 39 degrees, before it returns to the yearly subzero norms. BTW, Florida - it doesn't exist, either. All of those vacation shots you think you had from that trip you thought you took to Walt Disney World? They were all shot on a soundstage in Nome, and the glaciers should be here any moment, now, so relish your mild hypothermia while you can. Have a nice day.

plumbum82

Fri, 28 Mar 2008 18:58:42 -0600

I agree whole-heartedly with Pinko and Spook. Fuck the weak-willed pussies who can't hack winter. And "spring" is crazy overrated. I'm ready for drunk BBQ'ing and having to take 14 showers a day to deal with the humidity. Summer now! Also, pandasack? Die in a fire. LOL Cats are the greatest thing that internet has given me besides mountains upon mountains of free pornography.

The Meteorologist

Fri, 28 Mar 2008 17:48:46 -0600

Hahahahah. I guess those balance each other out. Monkeys and longboards. Fuck.

chimusic

Fri, 28 Mar 2008 16:29:31 -0600

At least the winter was not as bad as the Blizzard of '79

Jeremy

Fri, 28 Mar 2008 16:08:16 -0600

I used to tell all my friends that I stayed in Chicago to be close to the nation's "strategic fresh water supply", but to hell with it. Anyway, the pharmaceuticals are better in what little water LA has.

matilda

Fri, 28 Mar 2008 15:52:16 -0600

"...I'm moving to the SoCal endless warmth." And to the water shortages that will only get worse. And the fires. And the constant presence of Californians. But it will be warm.

Jeremy

Fri, 28 Mar 2008 15:40:37 -0600

This winter did me in. After 27 of them, I'm moving to the SoCal endless warmth. So long, suckers.

jmagic

Fri, 28 Mar 2008 15:30:06 -0600

it seems to me like Skilling gets off on using phrases like "precipitation cocktail" and "swaths of rain" when describing the misery that is about to ensue here. 15 days of rain? WTF - just tell me it's going to be 50 degrees for more than two days in a row and i'll be happy man. just give me something ...

Spook

Fri, 28 Mar 2008 15:28:22 -0600

Here here, cheers to that, My two chamber water smoker is used year round as well, which includes two months ago when I made three pounds of beef jerky.

Prescott Carlson

Fri, 28 Mar 2008 15:11:47 -0600

Amen, Pinko. Unless my Weber is completely buried, that sucker gets fired up year 'round.

Pinko

Fri, 28 Mar 2008 14:41:36 -0600

That grill has no reason to be pissed, unless directed towards its owner. In Chicago, outdoor grilling is a winter sport too...

Marcus Gilmer

Fri, 28 Mar 2008 14:34:29 -0600

Snow in April = Boo That picture of the grill = Awesome

pandasnack

Fri, 28 Mar 2008 14:32:03 -0600

ugh, i can has cheezburger? really?

Jess D'Amico

Fri, 28 Mar 2008 14:30:50 -0600

@spook: Don't you dare! spring and fall are the best seasons, hands down. Summer's alright, but I need a transition, and my pale ass needs to work up to the sun exposure.

curmudgeon

Fri, 28 Mar 2008 14:28:59 -0600

Quit writing about the weather. We are thoroughly sick of it and need no more reminders. I'm going back to my cave until Memorial Day.

Amy Mikel

Fri, 28 Mar 2008 14:26:37 -0600

longboards are for sissies. monkeys are cool though.

sparky

Fri, 28 Mar 2008 14:22:25 -0600

"You know, I think the weather makes Chicagoans feel closer to each other because we all have to deal with it together." I would agree, except for Dibs. Dibs is tearing this city apart, man! But it is a touching thought from you, The Meteorologist. It's something Tom Skilling may say, after he tells us that 8" of snow will be falling tomorrow. :)

The Meteorologist

Fri, 28 Mar 2008 14:13:47 -0600

You know, I think the weather makes Chicagoans feel closer to each other because we all have to deal with it together. But, Amy, I want spring to come too. I want to go out and play already. When it gets warm, if you see a small fellow on a longboard shouting like a monkey, it's probably me.

fed up

Fri, 28 Mar 2008 13:57:23 -0600

I dont care if we get a nice spring or a boiling hot summer winter needs to end.

Spook

Fri, 28 Mar 2008 13:53:22 -0600

screw that noise, bird, bring on the 90 degrees!

sparky

Fri, 28 Mar 2008 13:38:03 -0600

I just hope we have an honest-to-goodness spring this year. Lately we have been jumping from winter straight into summer without the milder spring weather. That's what gets me down.

matilda

Fri, 28 Mar 2008 13:25:26 -0600

Amy: Understood. I share your impatience, if not your willingless to complain in public about Chicago's weather.

Amy Mikel

Fri, 28 Mar 2008 13:15:57 -0600

matilda, of course i understand that! i could never live anywhere that was consistantly warm, because i love the seasons. i get excited about winter every year, like i said. but i am impatient for spring now, hence my grumbling.

groggy

Fri, 28 Mar 2008 12:22:21 -0600

Thank you, Amy. That image is one of my favorites from that site. Well, the Angry BBQ and Happy Chair.

Pinko

Fri, 28 Mar 2008 12:17:20 -0600

I've often considered that were it not for our well-deserved reputation of having nasty winters that last much too long, Chicago would become unbearably overcrowded...

matilda

Fri, 28 Mar 2008 12:02:12 -0600

I realize this has been a crappy winter, but you understand, don't you, that we live at a certain latitude, and at a certain position in relation to the oceans, plains and wind patterns, and that jobs and good schools exist in warmer parts of the world? There are many, many things to complain about in Chicago, but I never understood why people who live here complain when it gets cold or snowy, even unusually so. It's kind of what happens in Chicago during certain months of the year.