Chicagoist: Ban Walking and Talking?

quicksloth

Thu, 03 Apr 2008 10:06:25 -0600

The only valid purpose of this would be to maybe codify protection for a driver who might run over some dipshit talking on his cellphone while crossing the street midblock or against the light. Of course I'm sure that didn't cross Dumb-can's mind when he proposed this latest nonsensical addition to the vehicle code.

sparky

Thu, 03 Apr 2008 09:45:12 -0600

The other day, I was standing on the corner of Rush St. dealing foie gras in tiny baggies to chefs around the city. After that I stopped at Springfield a did a little dwarf tossing--which is surprisingly illegal in Springfield. I spoke English instead of American (the official state language), and then came back up to Chicago and gave my dog whiskey and a cigar (which is also against the law). After that, I crossed street after street in the city chatting on my cell phone, telling everyone what I did. Haven't been caught yet.

fr0ntl1n3

Thu, 03 Apr 2008 09:14:31 -0600

Dear Mayor Daley, Please ban really hot women from wearing patent black high heels and leggings/mini skirts- When I drool over them crossing Michigan Ave. I feel personally at risk from getting hit by a bus as I stand, gaping in the middle of the crosswalk.

Pinko

Wed, 02 Apr 2008 20:01:00 -0600

"Why, yes, I am still very interested in the job! Tuesday morning or Wednesday afternoon? Hmmm, how about...god damnit!! I'm about to cross the street right now and there's a cop sitting in his squad car watching me. Can I call you back in thirty seconds?"

smussy

Wed, 02 Apr 2008 18:41:07 -0600

last february, chicagoist posted about a similar sort of proposed ban, and at that time, the quote from king daley was "good luck to enforce that." no doubt, since i can't tell you the number of cops i routinely see driving around, cell phone to ear. classic!

simplecreature

Wed, 02 Apr 2008 17:59:08 -0600

Thank god that all these laws are making us safe. How did we ever survive without them? How the hell are cops supposed to catch actual criminals when they're out chasing cellphone baddies for the revenue? Most burglaries go unsolved. Bike theives? HA! You ever try following up on a theft with the cops? They look at you like you're fresh off the bus from Hicksville. Let police fight actual crime and leave the nanny nonsense off the books.

celerysalt

Wed, 02 Apr 2008 17:42:23 -0600

This would all be unnecessary if everyone wrapped themselves in antibacterial, teflon coated bubble wrap, as I do. BTW - Apologies to anyone I may have offended with my last comment on the Ernie Banks thread. I have long harbored really bad feeling for the personal attacks and sniping of certain posters on this site, and today - fueled with severe menstrual angst, i just let them all blow. Reading over the site, today seems to have been a big day for that all around.

ThisGuy

Wed, 02 Apr 2008 17:14:00 -0600

Mofoloco -- you, of course, are referring to the BlueTools. An office cannot contain their working prowess!

mofoloco

Wed, 02 Apr 2008 17:06:32 -0600

Groggy's got the right idea! I say ban the douche bags who walk around grocery stores with phones stuck in their ears too!

frp

Wed, 02 Apr 2008 17:05:43 -0600

@mich Touche! Brilliant!

mich

Wed, 02 Apr 2008 16:54:52 -0600

I mean Let's

mich

Wed, 02 Apr 2008 16:52:32 -0600

I know! Lets ban small plastic baggies too!

peteypants

Wed, 02 Apr 2008 16:51:25 -0600

they should just enforce current jay-walking laws if they're concerned about safety. what's next? banning chewing gum while walking? at least 51.5 graduation rate in Chicago is close to the average. consider the fact that detroit's 24.9 rate brings the entire average down as well. did we lose a war or something?

groggy

Wed, 02 Apr 2008 16:50:21 -0600

Last night, while I ate a foie gras substitute at Kiki's Bistro, a couple of middle-aged twats sat next to me on a date, making calls to family members on their cell phones and introducing one another to said family members over cell phone waves and their third bottle of wine. If we want to make new laws about cell phones, how about banning them from people like that?

Ward Up

Wed, 02 Apr 2008 16:49:27 -0600

Thus far, I have known three State Representatives from Chicago well enough to judge their smarts. Talk about dense. Like many Chicago alderman, they would not do very well in the real job market. Too harsh? I don't think so.

Prescott Carlson

Wed, 02 Apr 2008 16:47:02 -0600

At least the cell phone while driving ban ostensibly prevents auto accidents and innocent people from being killed. If some moron wants to not pay attention and walk in front of an oncoming truck, well, sometimes you have to cull the herd. Especially since besides talking on the phone, that person is also presumably crossing on a red.

grandma

Wed, 02 Apr 2008 16:45:16 -0600

Is this just a petty law that allows police to stop people under suspicion of larger offenses? Because, you know, drug dealers cross streets on cell phones. Drug dealers also directly lead to the low CPS high school graduation rate (trying to tie in that last statement). State Rep Duncan is saving our children, and who can argue with that?

mich

Wed, 02 Apr 2008 16:43:24 -0600

I'd like to see them enforce a law like that. Although I did get screamed at by a police officer for jaywalking yesterday.

frp

Wed, 02 Apr 2008 16:31:09 -0600

WTF? The "don't-use-your-cell-phone-while-driving" law is barely enforced, and now Dumbfuck Duncan (note the use of alliteration) wants to amend that law? Holy fuckstick! What next? Propose legislation banning foie gras in restaurants! Oh wait, that was aleready done by Numbnuts Natarus.