Oprah-geddon: Winfrey To Quit Show In 2011
Daley Blames - Who Else? - The Media For Oprah-geddon
Chicago Gets Googled
Friday Flashback - Old School Oprah
Today's Transgender Day of Remembrance Honors the Dead
Welcome back, Top Chef lovers. Let's see what sweet, sweet love is cookin' in the kitchen this week.
Does the show have to start with the morning-after routine every week? Just once, we wish they'd show the most recently chopped off chef doing a walk of shame in the morning, hobbling on some high heels in a party dress with messy hair and sloppy mascara. Okay, maybe we just want to see Ryan in a party dress.
Quickfire: The chefs walk into the kitchen which is filled with Jesus. No, no – better than Jesus! Desserts. Like, a table full of more desserts than Oprah and Gayle have eaten in their combined lifetimes. Guest Judge: Johnny Iuzzini, famous pastry chef, challenges the chefs to create a fantastic dessert.
Least impressive: Antonia, who does herself no favors by introducing her dish with, "I attempted to…" which is as convincing as beginning your murdering client's closing argument with, "I don't think he did it…" She made a bruleed lemon curd with lemon cake. Spike bravely attempts a pineapple rum raisin soufflé with toasted coconut and is rewarded by sucking at it. He is consoled with Iuzzini's atta-boy and old college try-isms. Mark puts together pavlovas made with wattleseed. The plate is dotted with what looks like pretty little white poo-poos.
Most impressive: Dale whips up his only known dessert: "Halo-Halo" with shaved ice, avocado, mango, kiwi and nuts. We love this dessert with coconut milk. Mmmm, coconut thighs. Lisa continues to do well and Iuzzini likes her yogurt with fruit puree, fried wontons and fresh strawberries. Richard does a play on words and makes banana scallops with banana guacamole and chocolate ice cream. We admit, the visual and textural likening of bananas to both scallops and avocado is sort of brilliant, you bastard.
Winner: Richard! His recipe will go into the Top Chef cookbook.
Elimination Challenge: The chefs are told that they will be going to Second City. The Hobbit says he's excited – except, he says it with a dead, wooden face like he just got Botox injections. The Hobbit then dryly deadpans that a nice pink shirt goes with Richard's skin tone and suddenly, we love him again. We see the chefs at Second City as the cast asks for input from the audience: a color, an emotion, and an ingredient which translates into the elimination challenge: The chefs must cook a meal with five courses, which they do in pairs, each doing a randomly selected course. 1) yellow, love vanilla (Andrew and Spike), 2) depressed, purple bacon (Mark and Nikki), 3) magenta, drunk polish sausage (Antonia and Lisa), 4) green, perplexed tofu (Dale and Richard) and 5) orange, turned-on asparagus (Stephanie and Jennifer). Yup, it's about as funny as Second City in a dry county. Or in Cook County, for that matter.
1) Yellow, love vanilla (Andrew and Spike): Going along with the improvisation idea, Spike and Andrew just buy things they like at the grocery store and will see what they can make with the mess when home. It translates into a squash soup with vanilla crème fraiche. The judges are impressed and Padma says she would lick her bowl to which Ted Allen replies that he'd lick all of them. He apparently thinks Padma said balls. Bowls, Ted, bowls.
2) Depressed, purple bacon (Mark and Nikki): What's with the aviator shades in Whole Foods? They serve a roasted pork loin with sweet potatoes, grape sauce, jus and Brussels sprouts. The judges really enjoy the flavor and comfort food element of the dish.
3) Magenta, drunk polish sausage (Antonia and Lisa): Polish sausage somehow means chorizo, sea bass and purple potato - we admit, the intrigue is building here. They make a sea bass with purple potato puree, chorizo and tequila sauce. The judges think the flavor is good but note the obvious lack of polish sausage.
4) Green, perplexed tofu (Dale and Richard): Richard decides to soak the tofu in beef fat and waxes Seinfeldian for a moment by uttering, "This tofu tastes like beef! What's up with that?" They make a tofu steak marinated in beef fat with green curry. The judges love the dish, especially the curry.
5) Orange, turned-on asparagus (Stephanie and Jennifer). Jennifer makes a comment about the three elements to their dish (asparagus, orange and goat cheese) being like a menage a trois and she forgets that she's already had one with Zoi and Zoi's ego. Their dish is a menage a trois of orange with goat cheese, asparagus, salad and olive tapenade. The judges are not so much impressed with the large number of elements in the dish.
Judges Table: Spike, Andrew, Richard and Dale are called into the Judges table as the best teams of the evening. The soup wins applause as being very well seasoned and the steak tasting tofu wins applause for capturing the emotion perplexed. Winning Team: Dale and Richard. They each receive $2,500 in Calphalon cookware.
Lisa, Antonia, Stephanie and Jennifer are called into the principal's office. The obvious lack of polish sausage is questioned. Lisa states that she's only eaten it on top of mashed potatoes mixed with sour kraut and we instantly plan our next meal because that sounds like some drunken good eats. Then they turn to Jennifer and Stephanie. Tom says, "Too much of everything!" Jennifer explains how the dish was supposed to look phallic and both Tom and Padma giggle as if to say, "Leave it to the experts, honey." Judges hate the bread and you can see the "Dammit, I knew it" across Stephanie's face. The judges debate before calling in the teams and declaring that the asparagus dish was their least favorite. We witness this news break Stephanie's heart as her face falls between her knees. Bless her heart, Stephanie looks like a kindergartener who dropped her cupcake when she hears Padma ask Jennifer to pack her knives and hit the road. That's right. Jennifer got kicked off and somehow, she'll probably say she did it for Zoi.
Coming up! We see that next week will involve child labor. Fantastic! We love how their little fingers peel the skin off of mandarin oranges so well.
add to stumble upon
add to reddit
tweet this
post to facebook
Lisa must go next. I was ready for Nikki to pack her knives, but it has to be Lisa next. I demand it.
I can't take anymore of the "I'm too good to cook with x ingredient" attitude. Lisa and Antonia both seem to have some culinary chops, but I am having a difficult time looking past their personalities.
They knew they were violating the improv spirit of the challenge when they dismissed their ingredient, and admitted as much in their interviews (Antonia's air quotes when she said something like "We're using Chorizo and calling it 'improv'").
I think Stephanie got dragged down by Jennifer's poor interpretation of "turned on". I hope she bounces back next week.
I was afraid they might pull a Trey on Stephanie for a moment. The problem with winning, or being in the top three, all the time is that the judges are often unmereciful when you finally screw up. This may be good for Stephanie in the end. If she kept winning and winning, I'm afraid she would have got the boot the first time she screwed up a dish. Sometimes its better to be like Dale from last season--stay middle of the pack for almost the whole show and then break out in the last four challenges.
I am making this post for Zoi. She is totally still going to win. She is that good. When I started typing, I just knew that this had to be about Zoi. And dammit, it was.
but, like in good improv, i had to give stephanie mega props because she supported her partner the whole time. during the challenge and in front of the judges. the woman is total class.
I don't get why the contestants' presentations to the group weren't more heavily factored into the decision. After all, it was a challenge about comedy and improv. At least Stephanie and Jennifer put some effort into selling their dish and entertaining the diners. Antonia and Lisa just baffled the group by taking the tequilla shots in front of them. Oh, and by serving fish on a polish sausage challenge.
Was it just me, or was Iuzzini, or Mr. "My-nakedness-is-covered-in-white-chocolate-that-really-isn't-chocolate-and-the-pic-is -on-my-website-for-all-to-see-and-please-lick-me-Ted", just a tad uber-snooty? Something about him just rubbed me the wrong way (and trust me, I liked to be rubbed in just about any way).
Yeah, he was a bit of a prick.
OK, it's official. I LOATHE Lisa. The dirty hair, the poor presentation of her food while taking a shot of tequila without offering the judges any--it's all too much.
Lisa and Antonia didn't seem to understand how improv works. Antonia got all uppity about how this was "improv" (she also mentioned "interpretation," although she was the first one to bring that up). Unfortunately, improv isn't about getting suggestions and then ditching them for something you like better.
Can you imagine if Second City did that?
"We need a non-geographic location!"
"A DESERT!"
"Great! Now, we're going to improv on your suggestion and choose an oceanside beach instead!"
Um, no.
Zack - Yeah, I'm not sure how long Lisa is for this world. Er, show. I have a feeling Nikki will go before her, though.
Pencil - I'd never heard it so vehemently expressed as last night! "I will NOT serve Polish sausage!" like it was dirt under their fingernails. And I completely agree that they violated the rules of the improv skit and then passed it off as "improv". I think they should have been penalized and that the judges actions basically amounted to saying, "You can violate the rules and as long as the dish tastes good, we don't care." That bugs me.
Ad - That would have been horribly disappointing if she'd been Treyed. When Trey was booted, though, wasn't he the leader of a team event? I was trying to remember. I'm relieved she was spared, though - surely they must have considered the fact that she was typically near the top (whereas Lisa was a steady middle-dweller).
GL - heh. ZOI. ZOI. ZOI.
Smussy - She really is classy. No bitching and moaning, bridging her teammates (Dale and Lisa), etc. I'm hoping she wins.
tallformyheight - I agree that Antonia's and Lisa's presentation BIT it and the judges were NOT impressed that they did not also get a shot of tequila. Lisa's sort of snotty comment of "none for you!" rubbed me the wrong way, as well.
frp - I agree. Both about him being a tad snooty and his website. I rolled my eyes when I saw him covered in white.
groggy - You hit the nail on the head. Improv is about making good with what you've got through improvisation. Lisa and Antonia improvised with what they were given...and then did what they wanted.
Jennifer makes the first of the major faux hawks to be eliminated.
I agree that this might have worked as a kick in the pants for Steph. Being the front runner rarely works out, and she definitely got a pass from the judges based on her overall performance in the competition thus far.
Somewhere I hope that pastry chefs across the city are mercilessly laughing at Iuzzini.
I'm surprised that you didn't mention my favorite part of the episode - the varying reactions to the lack of electric equipment. Dale was like, "oh, shit", but Andrew and Spike were almost maniacally giddy. Hands down, the best part of the episode was watching the two of them cook their soup.
Antonia and Lisa both need to go...
I can't stand their holier-than-thou attitudes about food. And hey, Antonia, in that kind of improv, you're supposed to *use* the audience suggestions--not ignore them you dumbass. Grrr.
It was sad to see Stephanie so disappointed, but hey, at least Jennifer is gone!! I'm hoping for Lisa or Antonia next.
And how about that teaser with Mark saying, "I don't think Tom likes me?" I think he's right. I don't think Tom likes him. I do, but I don't think his food is very impressive... certainly not up to Richard/Dale/Stephanie, who are my top runners.
InsaneNewman - Oh, you're totally right. I hate having to exclude certain portions so I don't write a 12 page entry but that was a great part of the episode. I have to say, while they can be a bit annoying, those two really stepped up to the challenge and did not let anything frustrate them at all.
Dave - I can't wait to see the Mark segment about Tom. I agree that his food is not up to the Richard/Dale/Stephanie level. Of course, I'm sure none of them stick their tasting spoon back into the food in front of the judges, either. heh.
insanenewman ... yeah, that part was great. however, i thought it was TOTALLY bizarre that
1. NO ONE else mentioned it at all. there was no real reaction from anyone else that there was no major equipment. the judges never mentioned it. it was strange. now, i'm no foodie. this is the first time i've watched top chef, and only because it's in chicago. i'm more a project runway/bad VH1 show girl. but, that seemed weird.
2. they had to pack up all their crap and move it to the house ... i thought that was a dumb twist to it all. i got it. "improvisation" and all. but i just thought that was lame. so maybe not bizarre, but just dumb.
Dave: I don't see Antonia going anywhere. Up 'til now, she's actually been one of the stronger contestants, and fairly consistent. I wouldn't be surprised to see her in the final four.
I'll be expanding on that thought in Monday's Power Rankings.
The plate is dotted with what looks like pretty little white poo-poos.
Wow. Pretty. Little. White. Poo-poos. I don't think I could've have described THAT any better. I laughed so hard I got a crick in my neck now (or, maybe it's from the neck tie?).
Good lord, if I have to hear snotty Antonia and greasy Lisa for another week, I'm going to have to stop watching. I have a feeling that they think being a chef would be great, if not for all the stupid regular people who insist on judging the food. I'm waiting for the word "plebeian" to make an appearance. Perhaps I'm just upset because I love a good beer-boiled Polish.
Ugh, I cannot BELIEVE that Lisa/Antonia's dish wasn't the losing dish. They *completely* disregarded the challenge- and, just for the record, just because YOUR only understanding of Polish sausage involves Ekrich doesn't make it true, but way to be closed-minded.
Also: Lisa? Shampoo called. it misses you so.
I was disappointed to see Nikki fly under the radar because oh my GOD she needs to go home, but even more than that, I was disappointed to see Lisa and Antonia get away with that BS. I was reeeally worried Stephanie was going home.
I really need to get cable. Missing this is killing me.
I want Jennifer off the show so we can finally stop hearing about Zoi. . but I really feel like someone from the other team should have gone home. Of all the inprov items given to the groups...Drunken Irish Sausage was BY FAR the easiest. . .I mean, come on. . .anyone else would have LOVED to get that clue and knock it out of the park. And, to BITCH about it. . .just lame. . .the tofu guys didn't bitch (and they ROCKED it!)