Strange Sentences from Crime Stories

"Indiana University police say brownies a girl gave to dorm workers didn't contain marijuana at all. The leafy substance mixed in was lavender." [AP]

"A man wearing jean shorts and possibly a fake mustache used a note to rob a Lincoln Park bank branch Wednesday afternoon." [S-T]

"Orland Park police recently arrested a 31-year-old man after he was caught around 11 a.m. with his pants down behind Toys R Us." [Southtown Star]

"Joseph Grillo, an officer from the Grand Central District, and James 'Meatball' Athans, a tow-truck driver and owner of Collision Towing, were charged with trying to defraud State Farm Mutual Automobile Insurance." Oh, Meatball. [Trib]