Bank Robber Bespoiling Fake Mustaches

2008_7_14.fakemustacherealrobbery.jpgA man wearing a fake mustache has been robbing banks on the North Side, and the FBI is asking anyone with information to call (312) 421-6700.

Thanks a lot, "Groucho Bandit," for taking a good thing and using its powers for evil instead of awesome. I freaking love fake mustaches. I want this Tom Selleck cake, and this mustache key holder. And this no-longer-available mustache mirror. I like mustache Wednesdays. I have purchased both this little plush mustache and analso no-longer-available "stache pillow." (They were gifts.) Fake mustaches are hilaaaarious. Especially on babies.

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Comments (11) [rss]

ive been lookin for high quality, hollywood-grade fake moustaches for years to no avail. i simply won't tolerate crappy ones.

did the perp go off to star in a 70s porno after the robberies?

What you really need is a "Mr. Moustache" pillow. Google it. It's great!

user-pic

Trying to come up with a mustache rides joke - to no avail.

Maybe it's Bobby Valentine. (Still the funniest thing I've seen in baseball in my life.)

On a side note, check out the boring store for moustache wallets and other great moustache paraphernalia.

Also, alternate names given to moustaches as described by wikipedia:
nose neighbor, Lady Tickler, trash stash, fanny duster, nose bug and mobile tea strainer

They have amazing mustaches at the the store at Ashland & Milwaukee:

WIGS & PLUS

Is that not the greatest store name ever?

They caught the guy at his favorite northside bar. Man, what some people will do for a drink.

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