Nobody Move! Except You. You, Go Get Me A Beer.

Today in dumb criminals: Moline's Jason Slagel, who took five hostages in a motel Iowa...and then sent two on a beer run. Slagel apparently got in an argument in a Fort Madison motel room and pulled a knife. "Police say Slagel eventually got thirsty and sent two hostages out for beer," and they called the police. [AP]