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Gallup. Rasmussen. Zogby. USA Today. Network news and 24-hour cable news. Real Clear Politics averages. All have poll results all over the compass regarding who's winning the presidential race.
And they're all pointless today. You know why? Because here in greater Chicagoland, we've got cookies. That's right - cookies.
The Sun-Times reports that Northbrook-based Max & Benny's have been offering Obama and McCain cookies since July and according to manager/owner Ben Schlan, the $4.95 cookies with Obama's visage have been outselling McCain's from 20-to-1. No word on how the damn things actually taste (insert obvious chocolate/vanilla joke here), but the Veepcookies will be on sale starting today, and the thought of chowing down on Sarah Palin is probably appealing to a lot of people. (Insert obvious moose/barracuda joke here.)
When it comes to other purchase power polling, Obama is also doing well in the general merch election, as well as the soda election. In the mixed drinks race, we have no results.
We'd be happy to vote for JoeM500's smiley cookie. Our write-in would probably still beat Alan Keyes.
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Really? Obama cookies outselling Boris Yeltsin cookies in the Chicago area? How could this have happened?
I can understand the lopsided sales.
Obama=Sexy chcolate.
McCain= Preperation H and Werthers original
I'm awfully glad to see the McCain/Obama never-ending argument hasn't moved to the cookie thread.
Allow me to set the stage:
You are a wealthy white woman in Northbrook.
You roll into Max & Benny's and park your C-class. Instinctively setting the alarm as a black man walks by, you notice a less fortunate family getting into a beater minivan and cant help but feel a twinge of guilt for the affluence in your life.
None the less you came for baked goods, and you make your way into Max & Benny's....and up to the counter.
"I will take 12 of those Obama cookies sir." Then the rush hits you. Raising your voice so the Hispanic kid with the mop bucket and everyone else in line can hear, you exclaim, "No make it 20, 30!..Yes I want 30 of them!"
It's an out-of-body experience. It's your moment. It's public. Everyone within 10 yards knows, that you...yes you are voting for the half-black man! Nobody can take this moment away from you girl! You are smart, interesting, and progressive all at once!
You catch a glimpse of that man in line and know that handsome man is thinking, "She must have obviously read The New York Times this morning!" Sure it was really US weekly, but who cares, its your moment.
Most important of all you can raise your head high and claim a force field stronger than any ever employed by the Death Star, nobody, I mean not a soul can even hint that your are a racist for the next 5 minutes! Breath in the freedom of not having to prove a negative....ahhh!....voting for the half-black man feels so f---ing good.
I dont care what the polls say right now. McCain doesnt stand a chance.
The newest addition to Starbucks' Frappuccino Linueup
I bet the Sara Palin ones will taste like sexy librarian.
What, no Cynthia McKinney cookie?