Extra, Extra

Photo by within(Reason)

Barack Obama is urging Emil Jones to pass the state ethics bill. [S-T]

Paste Magazine has launched a Chicago blog. [Paste]

A 17-year-old girl was abducted from a Palos Heights sandwich shop and sexually assaulted. [S-T]

Some Cubs want a newer, fancier stadium. But not Alfonso Soriano. "I like Milwaukee's park. It's beautiful," he said. "But I can't think, 'Oh, I want to have something like this,' because then I'll be upset. And I don't want to be upset. I want to be happy. It'd be nice to have a new one, but we don't, so let's enjoy what we have. I know I have a lot of fun here." We want to be happy too! [Trib]

A new survey claims 35 percent of PDA users, if forced to choose between their spouse and their hand-held e-mailing gadgets, would pick the gadget. [S-T]

Mayor Daley on the Federal Reserve's decision to give $85 billion to AIG: "The whole debate about the economy should be about education ... $85 billion, that's your money. I mean, it's all of our money. I don't know where they get it. It's really interesting. They just print it or something." [Trib]

Make sure your pets are vaccinated against rabies—there are tons of bats flying around. [AP]

So I finally watched Monday night's Daily Show, and during Jon Stewart's hand-off to Stephen Colbert, both guys completely lost it and started laughing. And that reminded me of what might be my very favorite TDS segment of all time, which I have included for your viewing pleasure after the jump.