Sparks Red Put on Hold, Tankboy Found Weeping

MillerCoors has decided to delay the release of "Sparks Red", their planned higher alcohol, higher caffeine version of regular Sparks, after 25 state attorney generals, including our own Lisa Madigan, banded together to ask MillerCoors to abandon it. The company plans to discuss Sparks Red with the various states, where statements like, "uh, it's a legal product," and, "what about the children?" will be volleyed back and forth.

In a letter to MillerCoors, the attorneys general cited a recent study that concluded college students who mix alcohol and energy drinks got drunk twice as often than those who consumed alcohol alone.

"This decision keeps this dangerous product off our shelves and out of the hands of young consumers whose health would have been placed at risk," New York Atty. Gen. Andrew Cuomo said in a statement.