First off, if you heard "Sex Expo" and "Excalibur" and your mind didn't immediately mash them up into "Sexcalibur," well, you're just not trying. Secondly, while the idea of a Sexpo in Chicago seemed cool at first thought, after inspecting the photo section of their MySpace (NSFW!), we kinda feel like we need to take a shower.

Strippers, dominatrixes (dominatrices? what's the plural?), plastic surgeons, sex-worker outreach program organizers, gentleman's club owners and vendors of various "marital aides" joined together in one big explosion of hormones, cocoa butter, body glitter and other various fluids Wednesday night at Excalibur to celebrate and sell their various sex-related goods and services. What most are calling "escorts," which as anyone who trolls craigslist knows, is short for "prostitutes," were in attendance as well, so if posting int the "erotic services" section seemed a little light a couple nights ago, there's your reason.

Thankfully, The Bright One didn't fail to cover the Expo, complete with dick jokes. "Limp economy" - ha! But it wasn't all yuks n' chucks - there was a touch of the social-mindedness at the Sexpo - some were organizing a union:

"A sex worker is anyone from an escort to a prostitute to a stripper to someone who works in a sex shop," said Serpent Libertine, a Chicago sex worker who also runs redlightdistrictchicago.com. "To join, you can be an ally or a sex worker. Sex workers in Third World countries have more of an organized movement than in the United States."

Wednesday's expo did so well that we can expect another Sexpo in February. Sex sells tickets. Mark your calendar with edible body paint now.