Go Spuds Go!

He keeps it locked in a cooler. He takes it everywhere he goes. He hides it in undisclosed locations. Doug Hardin takes no chances with the Cubbie-shaped potato he’s been toting since early summer, which may be responsible for lifting the Cubs’ curse and leading the team toward victory. He’s holding tight to his spud until the Cubs win the World Series, although should that happen, Hardin would be willing to sell. Per the Post-Tribune, "For the right price, anything's for sale," he said, laughing. [Ed.'s Note: This all seems...perfectly sane. - M.G.]