Sick *Cough* Day *Sneeze* Excuses

Earlier this week, the Sun-Times explored the way we call in "sick" even if we're nothing of the sort. According to them, one in three workers weren't genuinely sick even if they told they're boss so. And, sure, they had some creative excuses.

Hit a turkey while riding a bike.

I was kicked by a deer.

My dog was stressed out after a family reunion.

• I have to stay home today so I can sign for a UPS package.
• I'd come to work but over the weekend I moved to a city 400 miles away, which I guess means I'm quitting, too. (This wasn't made-up, though. Truth is stranger than fiction, they say ...)
• I think I got food poisoning from that weird sushi place by my house- I can't stop barfing. I'm sorry.
• I never use excuses, i just say,"DUDE! I'M NOT FUCKING COMING IN! DEAL!"
• I once used the excuse that I'd had an allergic reaction in my throat and had been unable to sleep, when I really had a job interview. The next day, my lip swelled to the size of a golf ball so when I returned to the office my story was perfectly covered--the reaction had spread. [Ed. note - Karma]
• I also once called in sick so my friend and i could go to Six Flags. I hadn't been in seven years and after going on four roller coasters in a row I actually got really sick and we had to leave. [Ed. note - Karma, again]