Oprah-geddon: Winfrey To Quit Show In 2011
Daley Blames - Who Else? - The Media For Oprah-geddon
Chicago Gets Googled
Friday Flashback - Old School Oprah
Today's Transgender Day of Remembrance Honors the Dead
The Food Chain was first with this, and it's been like staring at a car wreck for ever since. Looking for a salt substitute? Then here's a cookbook for the truly indiscriminate omnivore:
"Semen is not only nutritious, but it also has a wonderful texture and amazing cooking properties. Like fine wine and cheeses, the taste of semen is complex and dynamic. Semen is inexpensive to produce and is commonly available in many, if not most, homes and restaurants. Despite all of these positive qualities, semen remains neglected as a food. This book hopes to change that. Once you overcome any initial hesitation, you will be surprised to learn how wonderful semen is in the kitchen. Semen is an exciting ingredient that can give every dish you make an interesting twist. If you are a passionate cook and are not afraid to experiment with new ingredients - you will love this cook book!"
I'll never look at Egg Drop Soup the same again.
Faced with the prospect of eating something with that in it, I'm faking a food allergy and cockpunching the chef. Book like this calls for a theme song when making the recipes. Here's the perfect choice:
add to stumble upon
add to reddit
tweet this
post to facebook
Oh, I'm so glad I had plain vanilla yogurt for breakfast about an hour ago.
Cum and food? No.
Hey people clamor to gobble on duck liver once you ban it. Just ban semen in Chicago and all the foodies will be scrambling to get some...
Navin: like the style of the humor, logic is flawed. The foodies were already eating foie gras; the ban was bringing those who had never heard of it to try it.
Thanks, I'm done eating for the day now. Maybe the weekend.
I'm going to jar my own and sell it as organic. Can vegans eat it? Will there be protests about mass "semen mills" where men are kept in tiny constrained compounds furiously producing until blanks are shot?
Or we could just follow Ricky Gervais' lead and say no to Jizz flan and cum sandwiches.
Is this for real? Either way, I love this line:
"Once you overcome any initial hesitation..."
INITIAL? How about a lifetime of hesitation of cooking with semen?
And this one too...
"Semen is inexpensive to produce..."
Yeah, the price can't be beat.
"... and is commonly available in many, if not most, homes and restaurants"
LOL. And auto body shops and department stores and public libraries and office break rooms and...
You lose a point for bringing this cookbook to our attention, but gain one back for including the great Wynonie Harris. Although I also like "I Like My Baby's Pudding"
Sorry chuck, didn't mean to lump bandwagoners in with you *OG* foodies!
Slated to open in summer 2009 my new restaurant "Skeet" in Wicker Park on Milwaukee Ave. natch...
Come on by and see our men, they're all full of spunk and nutty as heck! Our signature dish will be "The Superman" in honor of Soulja Boy of course.
"Honey, can you come here? I'm in the kitchen...need 3 Tablespoons of lovins for this flan!"
I just puked in my mouth a bit.
I just showed this to my roommate and told him I was getting it for Christmas for him. He was not amused.
Navin: no offense taken. That cookbook's enough.
"I just puked in my mouth a bit."
That's a whole 'nother cookbook.
And some fell upon a casserole; and as soon as it was sprung up, it withered away, because it lacked moisture.
This might be the awesomest story ever. Oh wait, by awesome, I meant "fucking disgusting."
Do they include instructions on how to properly microwave a cantaloupe?
BEST. CHICAGOIST. POST. EVER.
So is any old semen good or does the "supplier" have to eat certain foods to get the right "flavor", consistency, etc.? How does this whole "dash of semen" thing work?
I think it's all up to the hands of the harvester.
Yes, but is it organic?
I see vegan boys getting a lot of handjobs off this.
BTW I love your tags on this article: "cookbooks", "ewwwwwww", "semen", "um...no". Have those tags EVER been used in conjunction with each other ever before? Don't think so!
So if I eat a lot of mint, and I'm cooking a leg of lamb, could I... ?
That's funy, I was looking for an RSS feed to unsubscribe from. Thanks Chicagoist!
Just bought one. I'll let you know how the recipes work out.....or it might just be the winning white elephant gift this year.
as soon as I read the headline, I knew it was Sudo's post
@kuz
Sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don't.
The more I think about this, the more I'm wondering if this is really a just a joke.
I mean, this guy could be an evil genius...thought of this gross idea for a book that a gazillion people are going to by as a prank for some innocent, unsuspecting victim and he makes a lot of money.
I just can't believe that anyone would actually make recipes with this. No way. I just can't believe it.
The incredible edible sperm!
oh my god, barf. cheesy custardy sperm? so this book is of no use to lesbian couples? of all things to eat, why sperm? oh my god, barf.
Um, I've eaten in Chicago... this might be an improvement.
sooooo....if I make a flan using breastmilk and replace my pinch of salt with a dollop of semen...would anyone eat it??