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Oh, Vahzhno, we feel your pain. The eight-year-old male Siberian tiger at the Lincoln Park Zoo has been making passes at a fellow Siberian tiger, 11-year-old Molly, but to no avail. Miss Thang has been giving her younger man the shoulder (would the age difference make Molly a "cougar" tiger?) much to the consternation of zoo workers who are trying to get the two to mate. Dave Bernier, Curator of Mammals Lincoln Park Zoo, explained it like so: "We're trying to put our two tigers together for breeding. Our female Molly and our male Vahzhno. Every month or so when she cycles we introduce them together for two or three consecutive days in the hopes that they'll breed." Ah.
Molly was actually part of the last litter of the tigers born at the zoo, dating back to 1997. Bernier elaborated a bit, saying, "He's a very smart cat. You know he can read the signals. He doesn't have to be beaten over the head to know that she doesn't want him around right now...He's trying to buy her drinks and she's not having any of it." Man, we know that story. So we here at Chicagoist decided to put our brains together and come up with possible solutions to help Vahzhno with his pursuit.
- Sex Panther Cologne.
- Two words: Barry White.
- Dirty movies - it worked for pandas.
- Stalk her MySpace page and then quote her favorite movie to her next time. Even if it's Dirty Dancing.
- If all else fails, just do the opposite of what Marcus and Tankboy do in front of women. Works wonders.
Image via ABC7 video
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He needs to make her jealous. Start eyeing other tigers. If all else fails, he can go out, find a tiger who looks just like her, and screw her. Then Molly will come running into his paws.
Get her drunk. A couple of Cosmos and she'll be purring like a kitten... a very, very big kitten.
I dunno about you, but I would pay quite a bit to see tigers fuck.
That sentence makes me giggle like a child. Sorry.
Molly has no love for tiger's wood.
(I can't believe it took me an hour to think of that.)
Just start cruising on Chicagoist.
After seeing Albany's comment I started thinking, perhaps she's a demure kitty. Maybe they should put up some screens so that they can have some privacy. Just because they are on exhibit does not mean they are exhibitionists.
I think it's because his name is Vahzhno. Who'd want to fuck someone named "Vahzhno"?
"Every month or so when she cycles we introduce them together for two or three consecutive days in the hopes that they'll breed."
Clearly Molly wants to be courted a little more often than 2 or 3 days when she's in heat. Vahzhno needs to take her out on a date; woo her a little.