Oprah Watch: Best Life Ever
By Ali Trachta in Miscellaneous on Jan 9, 2009 6:15PM
It’s a new year, but Oprah’s back to her old self. It’s been a few weeks since she stated the obvious: she’s gained weight, and it’s not just holiday pounds. But there’s a silver lining to the somewhat inflated cloud that is Oprah, and that beacon light is the Best Life Series. Oprah began this week-long self-improvement program on Monday talking about her weight. Yes, “again,” but she’s the first to admit we should all be sick of this subject. She can’t believe she’s once again the big 2-0-0, especially considering the downright arrogant stance she took on weight loss during her skinny mini stage about four years ago. Open mouth, insert foot. Oprah spent the first half of Monday’s show eating crow, admitting her life has been out of whack, and that balance was what she truly hungered for. You may assume sitting through a solemn Oprah diatribe would make you want to head for The Hills, but in fact hearing the Great and Powerful Oprah speak honestly about her own flaws made her amazingly human, and we immediately rooted for her.
So what’s the action plan? First, there’s that to-do list Oprah’s always talking about that people forget to put themselves on. So put yourself on the list! Schedule relaxation time, fit in exercise, plan your meals, and love yourself. (Get your mind out of the gutter. She means do all this for the glorious love of you!)
What other ways can we love ourselves? Tuesday show naturally progressed to a discussion about health lead by Dr. Oz, with Oprah still yammering about putting ourselves back on “the list.” Pretty appropriate since this show was all about list-making. Dr. Oz and Oprah did them simultaneously, with the good doc giving us steps to take towards a healthier life while Oprah nudged at us with little challenges. Dr. Oz said “schedule a checkup” and “avoid high fructose corn syrup, sugar, anything ‘enriched,’ trans fats, and saturated fat.” Oprah queried, “ Why are you worthy of getting healthy this year?” Dr. Oz advised, “add healthy food with antioxidants” and "know your numbers” (such as blood pressure, cholesterol, etc.) Oprah gave us homework: “Write three foods you’re going to stop buying, and three you’re going to add to your list.” (Yet another list we have to make.) Though all this is good advice, we’ve heard it all before and centered plenty of New Years resolutions around it. The best new idea they shared was to obtain a health advocate. This is a trusted friend or relative who will partner with you to ensure you’re asking the right questions, that you’re satisfied with your care, and could even speak for you should you become incapable. Time to have a serious talk with your “in case of emergency” person.
After two days of talking about our physical selves, suddenly Oprah threw us a curveball. Wednesday’s installment of the Best Life Week focused on Oprah’s absolute favorite topic, the spiritual revolution, and the reminder that we’re more than our bodies, we’re the spiritual essence that dwells within. Ah yes, we are in the Church of Oprah. The first layman to testify was a Pennsylvania woman whose bakery business was failing, leaving her in danger of being unable to support her family. The next was a young teacher angered by her mother’s struggle with cancer. Last to speak was a gay man from rural Alabama grappling with his fictitious exterior. But Oprah and her choir of enlightened friends saved these members of the congregation, explaining that spirituality is about letting go. Letting go of the false identifiers, pretenses, securities, and plans we thought we had. We must cease fighting against the current of constant change and allow misfortune to bring forth the qualities of self we would have otherwise never discovered. Hallelujah! Especially in these unfortunate times, this is exactly the Oprahfication we come here for.
Speaking of the piss poor economy, here comes The Suze! Suze Orman returned to the Oprah Show on Thursday to spit some truth about how to take action with our money in 2009. Per Oprah and Suze, this recession is a result of living under a cloud of false ideals, and the economic downturn is here to teach us to be more conscious. We have to give Oprah credit for doing so many of these “money smart” shows in recent months considering fear of losing financial security certainly doesn’t keep her awake at night.
Suze’s decree: First, get honest about what you have and what you don’t have. Plans cannot be made on a foundation of lies. (Pretty universal advice.) Next, pay off debt, starting with the credit card that has the highest interest rate. Only then may you open a savings account. And finally, do not, for the love of God, stop investing in your 401K. If you need a little more explanation, Oprah threw us a bone by making Suze’s latest book available to download for free on Oprah.com. Fetch!
Friday’s show welcomes back sex therapist Dr. Laura Berman to teach us how to have the best boot knockin’ ever in 2009. We hear there’s homework. Who’s up for extra credit?