Nobel Committee to World: "Y'all Don't Know Me, I Do What I Want"
By Karl Klockars in News on Oct 14, 2009 8:15PM
After days of "WTF, Oslo?" resounding around the country and across the globe, the five judges of the Nobel jury have responded in a rare defense of their decision to award the Peace Prize to President Obama. They have flipped the international community the bird and basically said "We did it, we stand by it, deal with it." In this piece from the Chicago Tribune, committee chairman Thorbjorn Jagland stated that "Alfred Nobel wrote that the prize should go to the person who has contributed most to the development of peace in the previous year...Who has done more for that than Barack Obama?"
Nobel panelists citied his fresh efforts to reduce the numbers of nuclear weapons in the world, as well as the apparent easing of tensions between the Muslim world and America, and "applauded the change in global mood brought by Obama's calls for peace and cooperation." While we're not sure exactly how one objectively measures "mood," (other than a global version of one of these), it probably looks a lot like the way the different houses of Hogwarts measure points.
Rather than spend any more time wondering why Obama won this particular award, let's list things that he hasn't won. Yet.
- Any Olympic medal
- A Pulitzer
- An Oscar
- The Nathan's 4th of July Hot Dog Eating Contest
- The North American Wife Carrying Championships
- Any Marathon
- A Dance Marathon
- the World's Strongest Man competition
- Air Guitar Championships
Your turn! And remember, he's already won a Grammy. While you're thinking, groove on the calming Cat Stevens jam "Peace Train" to get you in the mood.