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Every Halloween we’re treated to warnings from media, police and elected officials about “suspicious” candy handed out by nefarious adults. If you’re not afraid to ask strangers for candy yet, you clearly haven’t been paying attention to more than 30 years of perpetuated myths about poisoning. The Tribune reports the DuPage County Police department will assuage public fears this year by using its high tech crime lab facilities to test suspicious candy local residents drop off. [Ed's Note: No word if this extends to religious literature, like that a neighbor used to hand out to us instead of candy. Jerkstore... - M.G.]
The crime lab will be available for 48 hours from Saturday until Monday afternoon. John Collins, the crime lab director, will facilitate the screenings but said he doesn’t expect candy to be more dangerous this year. Of course, claims of Halloween candy poisoning have turned out to be false and other claims of tampering have been very rare. But if you it makes you feel safer before your kid downs enough Snickers fun bars to fuel a sugar rush that could kill a small horse, go for it.
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For F*** Sake. Is any parent really going to drag their kid along with their bag of candy to a friggin forensics lab to have it checked out!? Have we really reached that level of paranoia that a County will even offer such a service? Look, if you think anything I give you needs to be checked out by CSI, then don't knock on my door asking for free candy.
Funny story, a old friend use to go the the local grocery store on Halloween and buy a large bag of apples and a package of razor blades -- usually unshaven, with alcohol on breath, and dressed in a raincoat. Just those 2 items. Checkout folks never even blinked.
I'll be taking Sage and Madison there. Nothing to good for my unique and exceptional little gifts from God.
In Great Britain it's now gotten to the point where PARENTS are getting banned from their kid's playlots over pedo-fears.
George Carlin (RIP) nailed it, people have a child fetish. They're raising their kids in hamster balls and panicking over everything. The result is weak, flabby, boring kids who end up getting in more trouble once their older because that's when hijinks have a lot more consequences.
Spoken as something with a very extensive youth offender record. Thankfully, now sealed.
"Stranger danger" run amok.
Hey, some chances are worth taking.
I don't have it on hand, but the statistics on who actually commits abuse upon children are staggeringly slanted towards parents and caregivers. The biggest threat to a kid is mom and dad
But hey, happy halloweenie everybody!
Yeah, I was agreeing with you. And you're right that the vast majority of child abductions, rapes and murders are committed by family members and close friends, not by strangers. But in the "helicopter parenting" times that we live in, every potential threat is magnified to absurd levels.
No disagreement. I work with kids whose parents can't be bothered to show up to pick up their report cards or come get a child who is vomiting at an after-school program. Then I see the nice yuppies in my neighborhood screeching about how DANGEROUS the playlot has become because MIDDLE-SCHOOLERS sometimes sit on the swings.
I'd like a pleased psychic, barring that a happy medium would be ncie.