Today In "You Can't Make This Stuff Up"

A Northwest Indiana man with the last name "Duis" was pulled over early this morning and found to have a blood-alcohol level four times the legal limit, earning him a, yes, DUI. So already the young man is showing an extreme lack of judgment. But it carried over even further when the man told the state trooper who had pulled him over, "Dude, I do this every night; I'm straight up and not drunk!" A field sobriety and, later, breath test proved, yeah, dude, you were. [WBBM 780]