Metropolous' PBR Brand Set To "Blast" With New Colt 45

By Karl Klockars in Food on Jan 4, 2011 8:20PM

While every tiny dose of Pabst Brewing news could conceivably be slammed as simple hipster-catering, when PBR owner / billionaire dad Dean Metropolous hands a heritage brand to his two sons Evan and Darren to do with as they please in the suburbs of Chicago, some moves raise eyebrows. As such, the idea to tart up Colt 45 could only spring fully-formed from the minds of someone once profiled on MTV's "I'm The Youngest Tycoon In The World."

Rather than rehash the info from BeerNews.org about the new fruit-reboot of Colt 45, we've written a quick spot for the inevitable media blitz. Take it away, advertising voice guy:

"Have you ever wanted the refreshing taste of a Colt 45 Malt Beverage mixed with a dose of sticky-sweet likely-HFCS fruit flavor? Do you want all the branding magic of Four Loko and the liver-squishing 12% alcohol by volume, without all that pesky lawmaker-enraging caffeine? Well, look no further! Get yourself some Colt 45 Blast! It's the Poochie of flavored malt beverages, and it's coming to a beer cooler near you!"

Like the spot? Call us, Clan Metropolous. We've got big ideas for brand management like "PBR Plus, Now With Extra Irony" sold in two-packs of tiny skinny jeans, and that's just the beginning. But since you didn't see fit to take our advice on Colt 45, we won't be waiting by the phone with baited breath. Pass the Champale.