Bensenville: Fort Sumter for Illinois’ Civil War with Chicago?

Seal of Cook County, IL Carpet [juggernautco]

Would Chicago be better off without downstate Illinois? Goodness knows every post about the General Assembly on this site elicits the same question, but we didn’t think anyone was serious about the idea. But in a session where the state Legislature has undertaken one seemingly stupid concept after another, two downstate representatives may have taken the cake with a resolution to eject Cook County from the Land of Lincoln. Samantha trashed the idea when it emerged and the Sun-Times has a good story outlining all the obvious reasons why this is just a stupid concept (with an oddly garbled headline---“Making a Chicago a state shows Illinois’ deep divide”) that continues to make the case for the disservice our officials in Springfield are doing for the entire state with time-sucks like this resolution. This damning statement from one of the resolution authors sums it up nicely:

"Quite frankly, I would rather be Indiana than what we're existing right now, in terms of the absolute mess that we see in Springfield," said Rep. [Bill] Mitchell.

Really? Hoosiers don’t even dream of Indiana in those aspirational terms…

But let’s suspend our disbelief for a moment... What if this was to come to pass? Despite decades of saber rattling in Congress, the Civil War did not really begin until the attack on Fort Sumter. Where would the Chicago-“Illinois” hostilities boil over? We think the obvious flashpoint for this conflict would be Bensenville. The acrimony over O’Hare’s expansion pushed the border community into a proudly anti-Chicago hotspot where signs are displayed boasting "No Cook County taxes." And we will certainly need all of our airports.

What else? The massive outlet malls in Aurora and Gurnee would be lost. As would Six Flags. And most of our professional sports franchise practice facilities (we think it's time for those guys to move back into the City anyway). We would have to say goodbye to FermiLab and the Morton Arboretum. But we are hardpressed to come up with much worth battling for aside from the corporate headquarters that would be forced to choose a side quickly.

That said, perhaps in true Chicago fashion, we can make a deal with our Illinois bretheren (heck, half of the writers on this site are from downstate). Afterall, plenty of communities have threatened to secede from Cook County in recent years over tax issues. What could we get in swapping Palatine, Barrington and Hanover Townships?

We ask you, oh Chicagoistas, not that this stupid waste of time and energy effort will ever come to pass, but what should the County of Cook be looking to bring along on the ride to being the 51st state in the Union?

Contact the author of this article or email tips@chicagoist.com with further questions, comments or tips.

By JoshMogerman in News on December 10, 2011 3:00 PM 0 Comments

Comments [rss]

Renita Marjan

"The acrimony over O’Hare’s expansion pushed the border community into a proudly anti-Chicago hotspot where signs are displayed boasting "No Cook County taxes."

Do you not get outside of Cook County very often?

Almost EVERY gas station and cigarette shop near a county line has signs that say "No Cook County Taxes".

It's got nothing to do with Bensenville and everything to do with the high Cook Co taxes.

Mimihaha

Personally I think at least Will and DuPage would bolt with us.

BlueFairlane

I think if you really want to make this fun, look at the specifics of the Chicago city-state more closely. Answer these questions:

1. What is the new city-state's name? (I propose Daley.)
2. What is the new city-state motto?
3. What's the cit-state bird? (Jail bird?)
4. What's the city-state nickname?
5. Where's the state capital? (This seems obvious, but in many states the state capital is not the state's largest city. So ... Evanston?)
6. When political conventions go off on their roll-call of states tangent, and various people representing said states start rattling off all their little tourism motto type things, what do we say? (The roll-call of states has always been my favorite part of political conventions.)

sat3911

1. Cook. A state name is too in the face for Daley style.
2. "How many votes do you need?"
3. Can't argue with Jail bird.
4. Suffragia in Cometariis
5. Capital - Cicero renamed Daley in memorium
6. This seems like a lot of work for this evening. Sorry.

sat3911

And how pissed are these two when they win and realize their new state is run by Naperville and politics are dictated by chicagoland? Yup, even in the new Illinois nobody cares what happens south of I-80.

BlueFairlane

There is a significant difference in this discussion between the secession of Chicago from Illinois and the seccession of South Carolina and its brethern from the U.S., in that South Carolina was leaving the larger government by choice against the will of that larger government. In Chicago's case, the larger government would be kicking some smaller piece of itself out. Seccession--if you'd still call it that--would be involuntary, which creates an alternative can of worms. You'd also have to find some way to ease that past the nose of the Federal government ... though Republicans tend to be deeper thinkers on this sort of thing, so I think they'd realize before their Democratic brethern that this ultimately benefits them. They'd probably start pushing for it for New York and Los Angeles, while maintaining resistence to the idea of statehood for DC.

Nevertheless, if it were to somehow be worked out, I don't think it's a pick and choose sort of thing the determines what's part of the new state. Stuff within the border is part of the new state, stuff outside the border isn't. And ultimately, a lot of this stuff you've talked about makes no difference in daily personal and business life. It isn't as if we'll suddenly have to show passports to go from the new state of, I guess, Daley or something to Illinois. Local sports teams already train in Arizona, and people cross the border to outlet malls in Indiana. I don't see the issue with all that.

jmogs

You are really no fun...

BlueFairlane

I'm fun. I just think different things are fun than you. You think it's fun to go off on some tangent examining an unlikely hypothetical in unrealistic terms. I think it's fun to crush the spirits of unpaid internet writers. Both have their merits.

Joseph

"In Chicago's case, the larger government would be kicking some smaller piece of itself out."

True, in the sense that Chicago would be kicking the rest of Illinois out. ;)