Chicagoist's Christmas Songs That Don't Suck
By Samantha Abernethy in Arts & Entertainment on Dec 24, 2011 8:30PM
While Christmas movies are awesome, Christmas music leaves something to be desired. Mariah Carey's "All I Want For Christmas Is You" used to be good until it was overplayed, then redone better by that little girl in Love, Actually. So then she added Justin Bieber to re-annoy us with that bubble gum song we all used to sing into our hairbrushes. Vince Guaraldi Trio's A Charlie Brown Christmas LP used to be the undisputed champion of non-irritating Christmas music, but thanks to Arrested Development's use of the music, now we can't hear it without thinking about how depressed we are. Plus, as Aaron Cynic pointed out "Baby, It's Cold Outside" has to be one of the creepiest, rapiest holiday songs ever to be written.
Musically, we're a diverse group. Tankboy is a hardcore fan of Bing Crosby's and David Bowie's "Little Drummer Boy," while Aaron Cynic digs into some hardcore punk tracks. Tim Bearden prefers the Rat Pack, and Kim Bellware is all about the Motown. Michele Lenni dug up Low - Just Like Christmas and Gruff Rhys - Post Apocalypse Christmas. The new A Very She & Him Christmas LP is worth a listen, even if there isn't anything original on it. Prescott Carlson says "screw all you young hipsters and your hipster Christmas music," with Marvin Gaye's "The Christmas Song."
Chris Bentley says John Zorn just released a Christmas album, A Dreamer's Christmas, which is about the last thing you'd expect from the guy who started a "radical jewish culture" avant-jazz label and pioneered Naked City in the 90s. Chuck Sudo recommends Joseph Spence's gruff take on "Santa Claus Is Coming To Town," Pearl Bailey's cheeky number "Five Pound Box of Money," and Mojo Nixon's sexy "Trim Yo' Tree." Samantha Abernethy likes to keep things light with the goofy Italian Christmas theme "Dominick the Italian Christmas Donkey" and Steve Martin's "Five Christmas Wishes." More recently, John Legend danced into Michelle Meywes's heart with his ode to "Nutmeg" from the A Colbert Christmas.
We put what we could into a playlist on Spotify to help you rock around your Christmas tree tonight. Enjoy!
Darlene Love - Christmas (Baby, Please Come Home)
Paul Simon - Getting Ready For Christmas Day
Low - Just Like Christmas
Elvis Presley - Blue Christmas
Marvin Gaye - The Christmas Song
The Flaming Lips - Christmas at the Zoo
The Ronettes - Sleigh Ride
The Crystals - Santa Claus is Coming to Town
Kurtis Blow - Christmas Rappin'
The Waitresses - Christmas Wrapping
The Drifters - White Christmas
The Boston Pops - Sleigh Ride
The Kinks - Father Christmas
Stevie Wonder - What Christmas Means to Me
Darlene Love - Marshmallow World
Julie London - I've Got My Love to Keep Me Warm
Chuck Berry - Run Run Rudolph
Louis Armstrong - Cool Yule
Willie Nelson - Please Come Home For Christmas.
Elvis - Blue Christmas
Pearl Bailey - Five Pound Box of Money
Stevie Wonder & Wyclef Jean - Merry Christmas Baby
Vince Guaraldi Trio - Christmas Time Is Here
The Pogues - Fairytale of New York
The Vandals - Christmas Time For My Penis
The Wanderers - You, Me and Christmas
T. Rex - Christmas Bop
Peter and the Test Tube Babies - I'm Getting Pissed For Christmas
Run D.M.C. - Christmas in Hollis
The Ramones - Merry Christmas (I Don't Want To Fight Tonight)