Man Accused Of Gouging Uncle's Eyes Out Over TV Remote

Exulam L. Holman (Image via Will County Sheriff's Office)

Police responded to a home on the 1100 block of McKay Street in Joliet Township on New Year’s Eve to find the 62-year-old victim with "blood streaming from both eyeballs, covering his face below his eyes. Both of his eyeballs were swollen, dislocated and were protruding approximately a quarter-inch from the eye sockets." The victim, whose name was not released, said he and his nephew were arguing over the remote control when the 5 foot 7 inch, 280 pound Holman threw his uncle to the floor, straddled him and “inserted his thumbs into his eyes … and attempted to pry the eyeballs out of the sockets” before throwing him down the stairs.

Will County officials arrested Exulam I. Holman, the victim’s 32-year-old nephew, on a charge of aggravated domestic battery. He’s being held on $1 million bond.

Between this and the booty call ninjas, we’re starting to think we should field a team to kick start Jolietist.