The Chicagoist will be launching later but in the meantime please enjoy our archives.

Cubs Rank First In Fans Who Don't Wash Their Hands After They Pee

By Chuck Sudo in News on Oct 2, 2012 2:00PM

2012_10_2_wrigley.jpg
Photo credit: #1Explorer

Adding insult to an inglorious Cubs season, the website UFE.com (which stands for “urine, feces everywhere”) named Wrigley Field tops among major league ballparks where people don’t wash their hands after peeing.

The survey looked at 79 different criteria, with a major focus on the restroom habits of men and women at the ballpark and laid much of the blame for the Wrigley score on the pee troughs in the men’s restrooms. UFE.com determined that, for every 100 men who sidled up to the troughs, 79 of them left without washing their hands. That’s a lot of hands with potentially harmful bacteria passing beers, pretzels and hot dogs down the grandstands. (No more toll sips for us.)

A UFE rep said the pee/wash ratio in Wrigley Field men’s rooms was loaded in favor of the troughs, where up to 30 men at a time can relieve themselves, while sinks can only handle one man at a time. We find that to be a risible excuse: some men aren’t going to wash their hands unless they somehow manage to pee on them heavily. Even then, a man may consider letting his hands air dry and applying hand sanitizer rather than wait in line to wash his hands.

Women at Wrigley fared much better. Only eight out of every 100 women failed to wash their hands after peeing. U.S. Cellular Field fared better in the survey, ranking 12th in the league in filthiness. Now you can point to a winning record, a World Series title won in your lifetime and the fact you wash your hands after hitting the latrine above Cubs fans' heads, White Sox Nation.

The best place to catch a baseball game if you’re a germophobe? Busch Stadium in St. Louis, where 100 percent of the women washed their hands and the men also scored high. UFE said Busch Stadium was the only MLB ballpark to score an “A” rating.

The survey was the brainchild of Bourbonnais dentist John Vallone. He, his wife and six others compiled their data over a four-month period and released the report in July. Vallone told the Sun-Times it was “creepy” watching people pee. He also said he tried to come up with some theories during his research.

“Here’s one: If a man walks into a bathroom with a beer, he’s not washing his hands.”

Amen.