Malört Tastes Almost Decent In Snow Cones

By Melissa Wiley in Food on Jul 30, 2013 4:10PM

Hurray! It’s almost August and the mercury is set to crack 80, meaning temps are just balmy enough to indulge once more in boozy snow cones at Red Door. We agree, snow cones per se—except when virgin-birthed from Snoopy’s A-frame igloo—aren’t all that. Not only must you brave the specter of brain freeze but resist the impulse to slurp all the syrup down before the ice even begins to melt, leaving you with nothing but flavorless pastel sludge sloshing around inside a pointy paper cup.

Malort, as you know, may be many things, but insipid it is not. Unlike ersatz grape or bubblegum juice, it won't tempt you to guzzle faster than your ice orb can dissolve. One of those rare elixirs you may well want watered (if not forcibly hosed) down, malort only benefits from taking a turn in Snoopy’s doghouse.

Mixed with Benedictine and Angostura orange, the malort snow cone ($7) alchemizes the famously bitter liquor into yellow snow almost sweet enough to cheer even Charlie Brown. For a yet more palatable coolant, you can try the cherry mojito with cherry vodka, mint, and lime or the aviation with gin, lemon, maraschino, and creme de violette.

Swilling the coloring from what was formerly summer’s most lackluster dessert is just good alcoholic fun. So bottoms up, brain freeze be damned.

Red Door is located at 2118 N. Damen.