Five Supervillians Chicagoans Might Like More As Mayor Than Rahm Emanuel
By Staff in News on Jun 15, 2014 3:00PM
It is not entirely clear who the serious candidate opposing Rahm Emanuel in the 2015 mayoral elections will be. However, early polls reveal voters may find just about anyone more appealing than Rahm Emanuel. Even a fictitious supervillain may be more favorable. Here is a rundown of classic villains that voters might like better than the current mayor.
Remember: these characters are just as likely to run for mayor as Toni Preckwinkle is.
Cruella de Vil
Even though we hate to admit it, or prefer to ignore it, money wins the vote. While Emanuel will be handicapped by fundraising and soliciting contributions, Cruella de Vil could fund an entire election campaign on just two of her gorilla fur coats. Nevermind her heinous appearance and contemptible lust for dalmatian fur, Chicago would definitely get used to it. Plus, it would be so refreshing to have a woman in office for once.
Gargamel
If you live in Chicago and are even the slightest bit informed then you are probably concerned about gun violence. While Emanuel may have failed to create major deficits in crime rates, Gargamel, the sworn enemy of the Smurfs, could have what it takes. His tenacity and elaborate schemes make him an attractive candidate. If the evil wizard could just channel his zeal for eradicating smurfs into ridding the streets of handguns then Chicago would be on its way to looking like a normal city. Plus, Chicago would be Smurf free and everyone hates running into those little things on the red line. Gross.
Scar
We all remember Scar from Pride Rock. At first he started out as the cynical uncle to Simba then he transformed into a pretty sinister foe. Although he technically can’t run for mayor because he’s not human (come on guys, its 2014) he did successfully redistribute the wealth in his home savanna.
Before Scar, the wealth of Pride Rock was in the hands of the elite minority, the lions. Scar came into power and transferred resources to the lower class, the hyenas. Nevermind that he killed his brother. Scar has a passion for income equality and housing equality that the current mayor seems to lack. Since Chicago’s poverty rate ranks pretty high in comparison to similarly sized cities, maybe this cartoon lion is just what the city needs.
Lord Sauron
This ruler of Mordor might be a fictional character created by JRR Tolkien but he does indeed have a better track record than the current mayor of Chicago. For one, he nearly conquered all of middle earth with a number of political, social and magical reforms. If he could reform middle earth, there is no telling what he could do for Chicago. Even though he was never resurrected in full physical form, if his name appeared on ballots in 2015, it would still be a landslide. The Eye of Sauron might look really awesome in the Loop too.
Jafar
Jafar, the evil sorcerer from Aladdin, looks a little bit like Rahm Emanuel. Okay maybe not like family or anything but they do resemble each other a tiny bit. In any case Jafar has the appeal of a fine mayor. First of all, he nearly succeeded at world domination and Emanuel cannot say the same for his first term. Additionally, his worldliness will appeal to city voters who are seeking vast changes from the newcomer next term. Rahm Emanuel better up his Saudi Arabian sorcerer game if he wants to see reelection.
By: Yolanda Carney