Rahm Is Officially The Worst

By Mae Rice in News on Dec 22, 2015 3:30PM

Mayor Rahm Emanuel came in at #26 on GQ’s “The Worst People of 2015” rankings—a truly upsetting list featuring Bill Cosby, Jared Fogel and Martin Shrekli (that pharmaceutical CEO turned arrested Ponzi schemer). The Confederate Flag also made the list, achieving personhood for the first time.

Of Rahm, the only mayor on the list, GQ said:

Well, I think we’re all shocked that a bloodless, profane political operative turned mayor would permit the suppression of a video depicting a horrific police shooting during the exact period when he was desperately trying to get re-elected. JUST SHOCKING, I TELL YOU. Rahm is one of those sociopathic career politicians who probably has a secret room filled with carved figurines of all his rivals, and he spends all night moving them around on a marble chessboard and cackling maniacally to himself while shit burns outside.

We strongly agree that Rahm could be literally, biologically bloodless. We should subpoena his doctor.